What topic have you changed your mind about in the last 5 years?

“I may be wrong in regard to any or all of them; but holding it a sound maxim, that it is better to be only sometimes right, than at all times wrong, so soon as I discover my opinions to be erroneous, I shall be ready to renounce them.” - Abraham Lincoln

What influences lead you to change you mind? What this a life altering topic? What did it feel like to embrace a new perspective? How did humility play a role after the change was made? Did your relationships change following the decision? Was the a catalyst for other changes? Do you now find it easier to accept other changes? What other long-held beliefs are you currently reevaluating? Is it time to reevaluate other topics?

How did you prepare your team for the current challenge?

Challenges are always waiting in the wings. Some challenges are cyclical and some are sprung on you without notice. How we respond reveals our character and proves our preparedness. These observations and corrections should come from all levels of the team, not just top-down, after-all that is how a team works. The ability for the team to flex and respond proves training and guidance was sufficient. If the team falters, gaps are exposed and action is required. Most often hindsight is 20/20 and lessons can be learned from the last trial. If not intentionally pursued, these lessons are on a PowerPoint filed away in a cabinet to gather dust. These teams are not limited to the workplace, but rather include our families, kids sports teams, or other organizations. No team will go for long without a challenge and need preparation for the challenges around the corner.

What strategies do you use with your team? Is your team always fighting the fire at their pant-legs? What lessons learned have you inculcated into the fabric of the team to ensure they are ready in the future? How are you fostering a culture of openness to discuss what has happened and what is to come? What are the gaps that you are currently seeing in preparedness? What is the next cyclical challenge coming and is the team ready? What is a next step you can take to bolster preparedness for your organization?

What is the most important question you are working on today?

Urgent screams incessantly for our attention at the expense of the important. Our days are often hijacked by the immediate fires that are nipping at out pant leg, but unless you are a fireman, they are not the real thing, but only the urgent demanding our attention. Meanwhile the important patiently awaits our attention knowing eventually, it will graduate to urgent and knock on our forehead to get our full attention. The disciplined will hold the time sacred to devote to the important, knowing this is were they do their best work. The writer must write, the painter paint, the marketer develop sales material and you perfect your craft. Everyone is an artist but the medium is different for each of us; the stay at home parent raises children, the lawyer writes her closing argument, the accountant crafts a spreadsheet and the construction worker builds a house. Each of these careers require a filter and single-mindedness to focus and defining the most important question will help bring clarity

How do you discern what is urgent and what is important? How do you stay on track to complete the important? What can you do to improve your focus on the important?

How do you define beauty?

Marketing pummels us every moment with a definition of beauty. What personal beauty should look like and what our homes, cars, children, etc. should look like to achieve the cultural definition of perfect beauty. A quick trip around the world will reveal that beauty is not consistent across cultures or country borders. Just as we are unique, our tastes are unique if left to our own devices. There are general trends that find blue is a favorite color and a six-pack is preferred over a kegger, however, each of us will deviate in our definition at some point. It is good to express your appreciation of what beauty is to you and resist the temptation to conform. I have found myself looking for the deformed fruit or strange color eggs at the farmers market just because they are different than the "perfect" products that now fill the shelves. There is a beauty in diversity and character; not everything has to be perfect.

How does your definition rebel against the cultural norm? How do you resist the barrage of information coming at you to influence your beliefs about beauty? What is something that you think is ugly and can you find someone (probably Google) that finds beauty in that same object? How has your definition of beauty changed? How has the world influenced your definition of beauty? Do you need to challenge your own beliefs?

How do you know you are grateful for what you have?

Gratitude is one of those noble concepts that we read about, know that we should practice and is really tough to master. Most people don't take the time to climb a mountain, become a monk, contemplate the universe and be grateful for everything we have. I would submit that a Tibetan mountain is not required and starting small in our expression of gratefulness is how the practice is begun. Doses each day can break an embittered heart, just as water droplets can eventually spit a stone. Today's inquiry is taking this issue a level deeper and not just asking what you are grateful for, but ensuring you are aware of your practice and recognize your process of gratitude. Self-awareness is a big step to understanding ourselves and how we interact with the world. Our internal processes, much like a computer operating system, run behind the scenes and manage our daily thoughts and emotions. It is critical to install proper updates and virus software for our computer; therefore think of how much more important it is for our lives. 2016 is my year to evaluate my operating system and make some changes; gratitude is one of those areas that is weak and needs to hit the gym. I am oblivious most often and realize that most of my problems are truly “First World” problems. I need to usher in a change and be guilty of "First World" gratitude.

How do you practice gratitude? How did you cultivate this practice? What prompted you to adopt this practice? Is your practice limited to a particular area of your life and need to be expanded to other areas? What is the hardest area to practice gratitude? Who provides a compelling example of gratefulness?

Do you just hear or are you listening?

Wait... what did you say?? Sorry about that, I wasn't listening. Ever said that before? This is a rude reminder that for a moment, we were just hearing and not listening. The body was functioning properly to determine that a voice was speaking but the mind was not engaged enough to process the words being spoken. I have been in the midst of retelling a thrilling account of an exciting life event and preparing for my friend to be as thrilled to hear how it ends, then we get a minor interruption and my friend has no idea what we were talking about. No need to harshly judge my friend; I am just as bad. Networking and looking over the shoulder for someone else to talk to; guilty. Listening to my wife or children telling me about their day and realize I have no idea what they just said; guilty. Act like you are listening, but more engaged with the glowing screen demanding attention; guilty. A recent gut shot, was an infographic (The Tail End) by Tim Urban, that breaks down an average lifespan. There is a reason that it is called "paying attention", there is a cost to giving our attention to those around us. At that moment, we are choosing them over anything else we could be doing with our lives. Invest you attention, they are worth it. We don't have a lot of time to live this life and I hate the thought of living it distracted and not being present for those around us. Needing someone to repeat themselves because a jackhammer is tearing up the street or a helicopter is overhead are good reasons for asking for a statement to be repeated. No worries, the Facebook feed will be there when we are done looking into the eyes of those sitting across the table. Lets not force them to type their status into their device so we can read it online. Lets look up, listen and be present. After all, I shouldn't have to repeat myself.

What distractions tempt you to just hear? What are the benefits to listening? How will listening change your relationships? How have you seen actively listening impact those you focus upon? What do you expect to learn by listening? What is a favorite story you have been told as a result of really listening? How does your companions smile, tone and demeanor change as they talk; these are important cues you might have been missing.

What is your Adjective?

Most parents didn't name their children with an adjective like Thankful's did. There are far worse names to be given, as described in the song Boy Named Sue by Johnny Cash. So, what is your adjective? You could cheat and say there are too many that work for you, however you have not paid the court clerk and standing before the judge, so this is just an academic exercise to make you think. We wear different adjectives for a season such as young, old or pregnant. Others are objective truths such as human, American or dead. What defines who you are? Your stature - tall or short; your weight - fat or skinny; you location - local or international; you color - black or white; your economic status - poor or rich; your feelings; happy or sad? This is an inquiry for you, not for your parents, your boss, your children or the guy on the street to answer, but you. Are you thoughtful, impetuous, hateful, lovable, persnickety or even as Mrs. Arnold, Thankful? I have been balanced for a long time. I am now choosing to be inventive, it is a choice. You are not frozen in time, either good or bad. This is your opportunity to wipe the slate clean and redefine who you are. If your current adjective is not who you want to be, choose another (proposed list) and start to live it, now!

Do you like your adjective? Has your adjective been defined by someone else? Is your adjective the one you want? Why are you not living your desired adjective? What is an adjective you have always wanted? What adjective is too daring for you? What is stopping you from trying it out? How can you embrace necessary changes to take on elements of your adjective?

What Are You Hiding From?

Hide and Seek. We have all played the game. The childhood game that provided hours of entertainment. We squealed with delight when the seeker pulled the back the curtain to reveal our hiding place. What happened? I thought I left all my childish ways behind me when I put on my grown up suit of clothes. I find myself hiding secrets of commission or omission and fear the curtain being pulled back? I don't have all the answers in the meeting. No, I don't remember all that I should. I should have parented my kids differently to better prepare them. I should have managed my money better. One drink should have been sufficient or I shouldn't get angry over such a small offense. It is an epidemic and no one is spared. Fearing that the curtain will be pulled back and I will be found out for who I am is terrifying, and therefore I hide. In her 2010 TED Talk (nearing 25 million views), Brene Brown discusses the impact of shame and how it colors our lives. Brene shares that a pathway out is through venerability. Sharing, with a confidant, our stories and how they have impacted our lives. What we have done and what has been done to us, impacts how we interact with the world. Brene argues that our best work is ahead of us when we are free of shame. Although, we wont be totally free, we can weaken shames affects on our lives. I have been working through this topic and it is hard, very hard. The good news is that the work is paying off. I am finding that I am more willing to share what I am thinking and speak from who I am, vice fear what others think. I am now willing to stretch myself, ask questions and write a blog post on hiding and venerability. I knew this was an upcoming topic when I started posting questions 65 days ago. It scared me and I wanted to hide. By God's grace, I am learning to step out from behind the curtain and fear less when I see the curtain being drawn back. I have a long way to go but, join me, step out from the curtain, your best work is ahead of you. 

Who can you be venerable with? What areas came to mind as you the saw the picture and read the question? How has hiding prevented you from living life fully? Who would you be and what would you do if shame was not whispering in your ear? What does freedom from hiding look like? What is one actionable step you can take to weaken shame?

How do you celebrate the Spring season?

Spring has sprung in the D.C. area. We embraced the elegant beauty of the cherry blossoms and prepare for the yellow haze of pollen. It is a time of renewal, growing daylight and stripping off layers for the afternoon run in preparation for the beach. Come on abs; make an appearance like the cherry blossoms, even if it is only long enough for an Instagram pic. But, isn't this transition a bit more than warmer weather? Each season is a gift with special qualities. Granted, it is different in the Arizona desert, California redwoods or Maine mountains, but part of living is observing our surroundings and appreciating the days we live and the beauty around us. During the Spring, a stretch of Canal Road near Georgetown has abundant wisteria blooms cascading over themselves promising a sweet perfume reward to those rushing home in the springtime warmth. Each day is filled with beauty and easier to notice as the trees transition from brown dormancy to bright green life. Let's use this easy transition to practice noticing our surroundings so we can do the same thing in the bitter cold of Winter.

What are your family traditions when Spring arrives? What is a favorite springtime memory? How is Spring different between the places you have lived? What does gratitude for the season look like to you? What is your biggest challenge with Spring? What comes to mind when you think of Spring? What hopes do you have with the arrival of Spring?

What was a favorite partnership?

Wilbur and Orville Wright, Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak or Bonnie and Clyde; partnerships can make an amazing impact for good or not so good. We don't have to discover flight, revolutionize the world with amazing products or become felons to encounter the gift of a great partnership. I have had great partnerships at each of my businesses and jobs. Partnerships may last for years or only as long as the next project. As much as the movies portray the lone hero pulling herself up by her own bootstraps, that is rarely the case. Masters of every discipline don't exist. We have limitations and all depend on the expertise of those on the team. These close relationships are crucial and are valuable. The wartime partnerships are of legend, and rightfully so, enemy fire quickly clears the air of minor offenses. Remember those that have been near in the heat of battle and with those lessons learned; keep investing in new partnerships

What made the partnership so effective? How were the lines of responsibility drawn? What did communication look like? How did you celebrate the wins and mourn the losses? If a partnership ended with a rift, can it be repaired? How do you depend on partnerships today? What lessons do you apply to your formal and informal partnerships today?

What is the oldest text you have read in the past year?

Ancient texts.

We incessantly pay attention to our Twitter or Facebook feeds as they tempt us to pay attention to the urgent. If it happened yesterday, it is stale. We tend to only look to the most recent post on the blog and disregard what has gone before. If you are reading this sometime after 17 April, 2016, thank-you for scrolling through the "stale" posts. Timeless truths are set aside for what is being said today and if we could figure out what will be said tomorrow, then it is even better. A quick look at my Amazon receipt reflects this same pattern. There are a couple exceptions; I regularly read the Bible and recently been working through The Souls of Black Folks (1903) by W.E.B. DuBois. These texts carry us away to another time an place, challenge our use of language through new (or actually old) words and help us better understand our world today. A great source for insight into recommended dusty volumes, check out the fantastic work of Maria Popova over at Brain Pickings.

What is the oldest book you have read? How do you decide what books to read? How many books do you average per year? What is a favorite text? Why do you like your favorite genre? How can you be intentional about rotating in older titles?

What is a physical goal that excites you?

We live such safe and sedentary lives. Protected by 15 air bags in our cars, alarm systems for the house, layers of high performance clothing to protect from the cold, A/C to combat the heat and cushy foam shoes to protect our tender toes. Our commutes keep us locked in position, our jobs keep us hunched over our computers as we put in long hours sitting at our desks, then come home to collapse on the couch after throwing together a quick dinner and helping the kids with homework. We aren't made for this lifestyle. Our bodies are amazing forces of nature and built for movement. It is crazy to think we can treat our bodies like this for decades and not think we will be broken as we get older. Last year my son and I completed a Spartan Sprint. The winner ran it in 40 minutes; it took me 3 hours and 45 to complete. Additionally, I had the opportunity to do 120 burpees because I failed to complete 4 events. I was very sore, muddy and exhausted. It was fantastic! I am going to do the Spartan Super in September 2016 and I am scared. If there are not any blog updates in October, you will know it didn't go well. I can't just call this one in our do enough burpees as a work around. It will require constant physical training to make it through. If I can do it, so can you! Get outside and move, dare to get off the trails, run barefoot through the grass, experience the winter chill on your skin, do something daring!

What is your movement practice? What was the last physical activity you did that scared you to complete? What is a step you can take to challenge your physical comfort zone? Who would be a good training partner that can help keep you accountable? What is a sport you have wanted to do but haven't tried yet? Great, now that you have identified it; go schedule it!

Who Are Your Mentors?

Mentors.

They come in all shapes and sizes. Most often our first mentors are our parents, then teachers and coaches. We are relational beings and everyone can reflect on a list of people that have had an impact on their lives. Whether the relationship is informal or formal, those moments, when one that has gone before, can pass on wisdom to help us steer clear of pitfalls are precious gems. My pursuit of formal mentors has fluctuated over the years and currently investigating establishment of a Personal Board of Directors. I have found great benefit from listening to those that are a few steps ahead of me. Excuse me, I have some thank-you cards to write.

Do you have mentors in your life? How do you seek out mentors? What life categories do you pursue mentors and do you need to add more? What was a mentoring relationship that didn't turn out as planned and how did that affect your thoughts about mentorship? How can you express gratitude for those that have gone before and reached back to help you up?

What artist left fingerprints on your soul?

The artist.

Even the name stirs emotion. Those that appreciate the creative can never get enough and those that are opposed, shudder in the artists presence. I know the latter best as that has been me for most of my life. I am coming around, so all you aficionados, be patient with me. The fruit of the creative process will leave its mark when you are least expecting. John Steinbeck's The Grapes of Wrath hit me like a ton of bricks. There were many parts of the book I enjoyed, however, the description of the turtle crossing the road and making his way up the curb was a fingerprint that is indelible.

What is the feeling in your gut when you hear "artist"? What is that feeling based upon? What works inspire awe? Can you imagine the artist at work? How has this work influenced who you are? Have can you express your appreciation for the artist? 

What Makes You Unique?

Unique is scary.

There is a creative tension between fitting in an being unique. Most people will error on the side of fitting in, following the lead of what culture says we should be. Nobody really wants a world where we are all the same, even if we think we want everyone to agree perfectly and be just like us. The combination of tattoos and pink hair standing next to the suit and tie provide a beautiful diversity to the human species. Don't get me wrong, it is not all that easy to embrace our differences (see the political scene for an in-you-face example) but do we really all want the black Model T Ford because that is all that is offered? There is a beauty in the spectrum of differences. Finding our place within the tension and how far we are willing to go to find and be our true selves is a journey that all must take. Some take the journey early in life and some choose never to buy the ticket. The mix of physical characteristic, personality, preferences and talents you bring to the table are unique and must be shared. I happen to be a recovering technical type that has shunned my creative side (until now), love living barefoot and sneeze really loud (trees fall when I let loose). Celebrate who you are and resist the temptation to conform strictly because society can't handle the real you. I am learning to appreciate the pink hair.

Have you bought your ticket and taken the journey to figure out who you really are? How do you embrace those that are different than you? How do you judge those that are different than you? What is a practical step you can take today to push back against the temptation to hold others in contempt? How do you celebrate your uniqueness?