A review of our social media highlight reel makes it easy to recognize how lovable we are. After all, look at all the selfies in just the right light, with the perfect smile. We have curated just the right online profile that shows us at our best.
We may be working on being generous to ourselves, but at least we know how we give and receive love.
What happens when we think we deserve love from those around us and it doesn't materialize; anger, resentment, withdrawal, withholding love?
We are quick to make a list of how we have extended ourselves to show love to those around us. We do the laundry, work late, cook meals, give gifts, say encouraging words, don't spend too much, and yet, not enough in return.
If you have a running list of ways you are showing love, might your partner or children have their own list? If we peek at their list, we may be surprised at how long it is, and how oblivious we have been.
What would be the result if you said, "I may be unaware of how you have expressed your love to me over the last month, and I want to make sure I recognize your care for me. Would you tell me or make a list of things I may have missed?"
The color may have drained from your face as you read the last question. I am willing to break all protocol and jump straight to the double-dog-dare. Give it a go, and see if you have missed some items on their list. If you knew them all, I will award some fake Internet points, and acknowledge your relational prowess.
I have missed many on my wife's list, and need to be asking similar questions on a regular basis.
What questions do you regularly ask those you love, to ensure you are paying attention?
What is a question you know you need to ask that will ultimately improve your relationships this week?