Disclaimer: I never claimed to be normal.

I really wanted a dog. My dad said I needed to prove I was responsible before we invested in a dog. We visited the pet store and settled on a rat as my first pet. Squeaker was all black except for a white necktie on his chest.

I poured a lot of love into this rodent. I ensured the dribbles of batter on the griddle each Saturday morning would guarantee a pancake breakfast for my companion. I tucked my t-shirt into my pants and rode my bike around the neighborhood with him riding on my shoulder or running around my waistline in my shirt.