What is your sacred cow?

We all have them and if you claim you are sacred cow free, then most likely, we just stumbled upon your favorite bovine. Welcome to the barnyard, shake your boots off and let's have some fun. Vegan or carnivore? Build a wall or amnesty? Democrat, Republican or Independent? Christian or Muslim? Northern or Southern Africa? Pro-life or Pro-choice? Mac or Windows? You can spend the next couple minutes justifying your position and how everyone else that sees the world different is an idiot or we can take a humble moment to chat. Excellent, thanks for taking a moment to consider the cows for what they are; thoughts and beliefs that have made us the people we are today. This inquiry is about identifying the sacred cows, not confronting or tearing them down. 

Clearly identifying those topics that are too sensitive to approach is helpful in knowing ourselves. Time has granted me the gift of patience and a willingness to listen, a bit. I don't write as someone free from the barnyard. I am still convinced that many of my cows are justifiably sacred. I believe that I am a bit more approachable and willing to listen and talk about my cows, even if they remain sacred to me. We must be able to discuss why we have the thoughts and beliefs that have shaped us. 

Engaging in thoughtful discourse allows for maturation of our perspective. The opportunity to hear the opposing perspective must never be feared and allows for the nuances to be appreciated. This gift allows for engagement with another human being. Soon enough we will be bones in the grave swaddled in our precious beliefs. Now is the time to listen, engage, laugh, appreciate and learn. This life is too precious to push others away because there is a different brand on their bovine.

Going Further: What are the sacred cows your willing to discuss today that was met with a visceral response previously? What positions have solidified over the years? Can you  engage in friendly discourse across these topics? How do you appreciate the opposing perspective, even if you don't agree? 

What question scares you?

Note: This is an uncomfortable post, brace yourself. And yet, another question I have been afraid to post. I hate being afraid. I don't watch horror movies as I have no desire to invest time in something designed to spike cortisol levels or engage fight or flight. If I want to be horrified, I can find plenty of real-world examples that don't require a $15 trip to the movies. I live in an isolated little bubble that doesn't require me to face the things that scare me. I live near I-95 and I am certain that tonight human traffickers are transporting terrified people up and down the east coast to be delivered for terrible purposes to the lowest bidder. What am I doing to stop it? The question scares me because I hate the answer, and I like to think I am better than the honest answer.

Inquiries were not designed to be easy, but to bring about an understanding of one's self and any necessary change. These questions get to the operating system level of who we really are, not the photo-shopped images we post in our profile. Many questions involve those around us both family and co-workers. What employee needs the constructive feedback to improve? What discussion needs to be had with your partner or child? What tough-love needs to be given to that friend who is abusive? What steps do you need to take to face your own fears? What help do we need to change to stop the self-destructive spiral in our own lives?

We have to be intellectually honest with ourselves; if we answer the fun inquiries, the difficult inquiries also get their time in the sun. During a Tim Ferriss podcast discussion with Shay Carl, of YouTube fame, they discussed having a discussion with our 10-year-older self. For example, if you were ten-years-older, what would you say to your current self? This hit me hard. I always have spectacular advice, I would humbly submit, for someone else, but what would my future-self require of my present self and what action is non-negotiable? Yeah, this takes a second to grasp. If we are going to care for our future selves, then fears need to be confronted now, so our future isn't burdened by the same weight as we bear today.

You know the questions, and in most cases, the answers. The question is designed to offer hope that things can be different. Now is the time to answer the question and implement the plan, your future-self anticipates the action.

Who are the creatives among you?

You can't miss them, right? They are those people that have a particular style, their hair has a dash of the rainbow and a mass of braids or their dark and brooding ways prove they are a poet on the verge of discovery. My first poetry slam had a mix of what I expected, but the other half did not fit the narrow picture I had imagined. This other half surprised me; the straight-laced school teacher, the mid-forty-something body builder and that extreme introvert from Norfolk Virginia. This experience had two effects on me; the first was to challenge my stereotypes of who writes poetry and the second was to give me a glimmer of hope that there was a trace of creativity coursing through these uninitiated veins.

Ramon sold me my cell phone upgrade today and during the conversation I learned that he is a creative. Believe it or not, selling cell phones was not his lifelong dream. I know, I know, I should have warned you to sit down for that news. He would prefer to be impacting the world through his writing, his guitar, and mixing music. There was a creative, right in front of me; the logo on his shirt just distracted me from who he really is. Our conversation inspired each of us to redouble our efforts to produce content. Shouldn't this be the result of our interactions with others; to leave them better than we found them? 

Writing this post has had a couple more effects; the first is to prompt you to have the courage to do a bit of naval gazing and determine how you might be creative; then take the first step towards cultivation of this dormant talent. The second effect is for you to express your gratitude to those around you who are expressing their creative genius. These souls are creating something to be put into the world and risk criticism and humiliation. Even if it doesn't strongly appeal to you, they have dared to push back against the resistance that says they are a failure and their art is not worthy. This bravery is worth encouraging.

What is the creative stereotype you default to? How do you encourage your inner creative? How does your definition of creative expand beyond just the stereotypical arts? Who are creatives you appreciate and what about them appeals to you?