What tactics do you use to get to "yes"?

A sales representative driving to a "yes, I will buy and here is the money", the mom pitching the PTA about how to spend the earnings from the bake sale, the politician seeking to earn your vote or getting approval from the boss for next fiscal years technology investment. Every day, we are seeking to convince others to move in our direction and will use various tactics to win those invested to our side. 

We recently sought approval of a significant project and were ultimately unsuccessful winning over the approval authority. It was brutal to accept the result as we reflected on the effort expended to achieve the objective. We fell short communicating the plan and building trust that this right plan was executable. 

I will always remember how Nancy Pelosi was able to navigate the political system and gain the required votes gain approval of the Affordable Care Act  several years ago. Against all the odds, she was successful. Business books are full of examples of successful leaders that have reached a "yes" through tough negotiating tactics or building consensus. What's in your toolbox?

How do you determine who to engage? How do you build consensus? How do you know you're making progress? What "yes" are you most proud of? 

What is your sacred cow?

We all have them and if you claim you are sacred cow free, then most likely, we just stumbled upon your favorite bovine. Welcome to the barnyard, shake your boots off and let's have some fun. Vegan or carnivore? Build a wall or amnesty? Democrat, Republican or Independent? Christian or Muslim? Northern or Southern Africa? Pro-life or Pro-choice? Mac or Windows? You can spend the next couple minutes justifying your position and how everyone else that sees the world different is an idiot or we can take a humble moment to chat. Excellent, thanks for taking a moment to consider the cows for what they are; thoughts and beliefs that have made us the people we are today. This inquiry is about identifying the sacred cows, not confronting or tearing them down. 

Clearly identifying those topics that are too sensitive to approach is helpful in knowing ourselves. Time has granted me the gift of patience and a willingness to listen, a bit. I don't write as someone free from the barnyard. I am still convinced that many of my cows are justifiably sacred. I believe that I am a bit more approachable and willing to listen and talk about my cows, even if they remain sacred to me. We must be able to discuss why we have the thoughts and beliefs that have shaped us. 

Engaging in thoughtful discourse allows for maturation of our perspective. The opportunity to hear the opposing perspective must never be feared and allows for the nuances to be appreciated. This gift allows for engagement with another human being. Soon enough we will be bones in the grave swaddled in our precious beliefs. Now is the time to listen, engage, laugh, appreciate and learn. This life is too precious to push others away because there is a different brand on their bovine.

Going Further: What are the sacred cows your willing to discuss today that was met with a visceral response previously? What positions have solidified over the years? Can you  engage in friendly discourse across these topics? How do you appreciate the opposing perspective, even if you don't agree?