What sports advice have you applied to your life?

Consistency; learned during physical training and now applied to marriage and business, is how a friend, Miguel, answered the question. 

The Internet is flooded with quotes from great coaches and sports heroes. Some of the more popular are listed below.

“It’s not whether you get knocked down; it’s whether you get up.” ~ Vince Lombardi

“You miss 100 percent of the shots you don’t take.” ~ Wayne Gretzky

"It ain't over till it's over." ~ Yogi Berra

"It's not the size of the man but the size of his heart that matters." Evander Holyfield

"Make sure your worst enemy doesn't live between your own two ears." ~ Laird Hamilton

The challenge comes with the application of the spoken word. Immediately turning words into action at that moment provides gain, but greater still is to use this applied learning to other areas of life. Living life in the crucible provides opportunities to gain significant experience to know what works and what can be discarded. What lessons have you carried forward?

Going Further: Who is a fountain of wisdom for you? What advice have you discarded? What is your process for adopting new advice? What advice should now be discarded?

How are you generous to yourself?

Take a deep breath, pinch your nose and hold your breath, we are going deeper than just buying yourself a craft beer or a pedicure after a long week at the office. The pressure to be Mary Poppins and "perfect in every way," is tough to achieve. The things on our to-do list are legion. It's only proper to finish the MBA, ensure the beach body abs are rock solid, an empty email inbox, kids in the right sports with perfect A's while being respectful and cheerful. The house and lawn remain tidy and blue birds ride on your shoulder as you whistle you way home.

I live in the DC suburbs, and the area is full of movers and shakers seeking to make a difference. The air within the beltway is thick with the requirement to perform. Those that have moved away report the need to decompress and normalize, before appreciating the new hometown. Social media only fuels the fire. I post the beautiful pictures of things that are going well, and so do my friends. The stories of failure are seemingly deleted with a touch on the screen, but the expectations of a perfect life remain. 

Our complicated lives need care in all facets, and it is not limited to more time on the treadmill. Author and businesswoman, Arianna Huffington wrote a book on the importance of sleep following a physical collapse due to exhaustion. Prayer has been a longstanding practice to recenter life's priorities and calibrate worry. The practice of meditation has exploded over the last couple of years as proponents have realized a twofer, better health and increased productivity. Consumption of soft drinks and smoking continue a downward trend indicating many are making healthier choices. The collective we, are starting to pay attention to the whole person, making these topics more widely accepted to address publicly.

What does it look like for you? What are the systems you have in place to relieve daily stress? How do you prevent yourself from getting stuck in the quagmire of perfectionism? Who watches out for you, so you don't spiral into depression when things become too much? What is a concrete step you can take to be generous to you? These answers may include doing less and not adding other things to the list of must do's. You are important and we want you around a long time. The world wants your best and that is delivered through a health body, mind and spirit. Be generous to you.

YouTube Link: How are you generous to yourself?

How well do you wait?

The computers are down and all we can do is stand. It is a 2-hour wait to talk to an agent. Unfortunately, something else is wrong with my ticket and I can't get my boarding pass at the kiosk and requires another hour wait. The other passengers swirl around me getting boarding passes and charging to the gates, but I wait. Finally, the bags get checked, but the boarding pass I am given is for a flight that is gone. I get through security and straight into another line for to rearrange for the missed flight. Over the next 2 hours, the line inches forward. The wait pays off and an hour later the plane lifts off the tarmac. 

This day will be one for the Southwest Airlines history books. For several hours, their entire computer system was down and nationwide all flights were grounded. Thankfully, this one time, I was flying early enough that landing late, wouldn't perturb the schedule. Many others were not as fortunate and were waiting in line for a glimmer of hope to fly the friendly skies. Once in the air, reflecting back on the time standing in line, the hours seemed to have collapsed into a single moment and it was hard to believe that it was 3/4 of a workday between arrival and departure at the terminal. 

When you wait, how well do you wait? Waiting reveals much about who we are and is an opportunity for increased self-awareness. Most often, waiting is not a strength for me and I work my way to the front of the line for answers. Once I know details, the wait is easier. Like all virtues, we don't like to put them to the test. The good news is that this virtue can be learned and strengthened. Take the chance to practice patience, an opportunity is right around the corner; just be patient, you will see.

How have you grown in patience? When does waiting bring out your inner temper-tantrum? How have you become less patient? What makes the waiting worse? When did you wait well and why were you successful? What is a strategy for waiting well?

How often do you dream?

Interpretation is not on the agenda for today; this is answering a more basic question. Is dreaming at night a common occurrence for you? Our dreams are a good indication of our physical state and quality of sleep. A long-standing indication of manliness has been the ability to thrive on as little sleep as possible. This mindset has been pervasive in the movies, military and culture at large. Sleep has been stigmatized as weakness or laziness.

Data continues to build refuting this perspective. Between scientific studies and the growing bio-hacking community, a realization that the body is repairing and the mind is very active during this downtime. I worked on an average of 6 hours of sleep for years and my dreams were non-existent. I participated in a couple sleep studies and made sleep a priority. I have sought to get 8 hours per night and vivid dreams have returned on a near nightly basis. Dreams haven't delivered the plans to the next iPhone or cure for cancer, but they have provided a barometer for how I am caring for my body and providing what it needs to thrive. 

Artist and author Elle Luna (check her out on Instagram @elleluna) realigned her life after realizing she had gone a few weeks without dreaming. Dreams had been a primary source of inspiration for her work and without proper sleep, the spigot for her fountain of creation was shut. You and I must be expressing our creativity through our lives, the things we touch and the dreams we pursue. Dream well, awake and achieve.   

How do you rate the importance of dreaming? What dreams do you remember? What period of your life did you have an active dream life? How can you enhance your nighttime dreaming?

What tactics do you use to get to "yes"?

A sales representative driving to a "yes, I will buy and here is the money", the mom pitching the PTA about how to spend the earnings from the bake sale, the politician seeking to earn your vote or getting approval from the boss for next fiscal years technology investment. Every day, we are seeking to convince others to move in our direction and will use various tactics to win those invested to our side. 

We recently sought approval of a significant project and were ultimately unsuccessful winning over the approval authority. It was brutal to accept the result as we reflected on the effort expended to achieve the objective. We fell short communicating the plan and building trust that this right plan was executable. 

I will always remember how Nancy Pelosi was able to navigate the political system and gain the required votes gain approval of the Affordable Care Act  several years ago. Against all the odds, she was successful. Business books are full of examples of successful leaders that have reached a "yes" through tough negotiating tactics or building consensus. What's in your toolbox?

How do you determine who to engage? How do you build consensus? How do you know you're making progress? What "yes" are you most proud of? 

How do you deliver busy instead of production?

Busy is easy, production is hard.

We can address the urgent, the fires that nip at the sneakers or we can fight for the time to work on the important that will burn the building. Answering the bigger questions that require critical thinking, creativity, vulnerability and brain sweat is where your best work awaits. When my son was helping me with a handyman business, he would make his way down the checklist marking things off the list; install two light switch plates, check; install three light bulbs, check; tighten towel rack, check. By mid-day, he would point out that I was still not complete with my one thing; painting all the walls of the townhouse, guilty. My temptation is to clear the inbox of urgent and be rewarded with a quick dopamine rush vice invest in the hard work that requires the best of everything I have to deliver.

I have been working to rid my vocabulary of the term "busy". How am I doing? "Keeping busy". Yeah man, I am busy. Busy is what I am all about. Wrong, what am I producing? How am I making a direct impact on my family or customers? My performance metrics are off, I am measuring the wrong things. I mustn't cater to the fragility of the gossamer wings of my pride. Deep down, we know when we are really producing and when we just busy. The Internet will continue to expand, there is no need to reach the end, set busyness aside and invest in producing your best work.

Going Further: What is your process for combating busyness? What beliefs tempt you to busyness? How do you celebrate consistent production? What are the benefits of trading busyness for producing your best work? What hindrances may derail your efforts to pursue producing your best work? 

What are your family heirlooms?

On August 29th, 1887 the family bible was dedicated to the Woodward family and included the family tree back to 1826. Births, weddings and deaths fill the yellowing pages inside the back cover. The heirloom book waits patiently for every life to be recorded in each section. I am the current custodian and will pass it, and the responsibility, on to the next generation, when my date fills the last column. During each five-year family reunion, we look at the names and remember those that have gone before and built the family we have today.

I was blessed to be born into a family that is loving and cares for one another. Perfect, no, but the family has maintained unity over the years. The family traits include faith, a strong optimism about life and a love of each other. For others, recounting family history can be painful and the reasons, sadly, are legitimate. These wrongs may have been against an individual or a sign of the times, but they are a part of the story that we carry into the world. Heirlooms may have been lost to poverty, fire, flood or war and in some cases, reduced to a tattooed serial number on a forearm.

For good or bad, these stories are to be known and to understand the influences of how we have arrived at today. Rejoice if you have reason and start over if you don't. Today offers a choice and the opportunity to create new heirlooms and traits for the generations to come. Our history informs, but does not define our future. May today's date be found, in your penmanship, by future generations, as you create their heirlooms.

Going Further: What heirlooms will you pass onto the next generation? How do you invest in the generations that will follow you? How do you reconcile the wrongs of the past with your today? What is the greatest gift your family lineage has passed onto you? What family history question did I miss?

When did you last stroll through the rain?

My last stroll through the rain was in New London Connecticut. I walked from a friend's house, where I was staying, to the convenience market a few blocks away. The long black raincoat slowed my body from being soaked as the warm summer rain doused my head and ran down my neck. My rope sandals quickly became waterlogged, adding weight to each footfall as I walked. Nothing I had would be destroyed by the water; the clothes were washable and to date, my skin has remained waterproof. There was no rush to get to my destination nor limit the number of drops I prevented from hitting the sidewalk. It was just a leisurely stroll through the rain.

Most often, this natural phenomenon that delivers a life-giving drink to the earth is met with curses, sprinting or huddling in the house because we may get wet. During a recent college graduation, I was reminded that withstanding an onslaught of raindrops was possible. Mid-way through the procession of graduates marching into the stadium, the sky opened up for a sustained downpour. The spectators overwhelming response was to sit it out and wait for the storm to move on. Once the phones and cameras were secured in dry purses, the attention returned to laughing at the situation and cheering on the graduates.

Two thoughts come to mind as I reflect on these situations; one, we are generally in such a rush to avoid anything that may perturb our schedule and reject these disturbances as a problem to be mitigated, vice taking the opportunity to embrace the dynamics of the world around us. Two, we can be intentional about seeking out these "discomforts" to engage and enhance our curiosity about our world. For the record, my walk in Connecticut was in 1989. Yeah, it has been a minute and I am looking forward to the next rainstorm. See you in the puddles.

Going Further: What are the regular discomforts you can revisit and seek to embrace? How do interpret these "necessary evils" to your schedule? When did you embrace the situation and make the best of it? How can you grow in dealing with these disturbances? What other questions come to mind?

How are you going to play in the next week?

If you think you perform at your best without play, you are wrong. Play allows the mind to make connections that it doesn't have the opportunity to make during our day-to-day work. The mental activity of planning and strategies during a game of chess can inspire new ways to negotiate the business deal. The dynamic nature of staying on a surfboard while the ocean heaves energizes the entire body. The ability to laugh at yourself when you make a bad decision and lose the board game is a healthy reminder that winning isn't everything and you will not always be number one. The camaraderie of friends playing bridge and the smiles that are exchanged between team members when the opponents nervous tick is discovered, builds great memories.

To master, a new game can take you into a new world and introduce you to an entire sub-culture that you didn't know existed. I am looking forward to a bit of slack-lining over the next week and will confirm I have much to be humble about. At best, I can get a step or two on the one-inch wide ribbon before losing my balance and shot away from the line. The acrobats at Cirque Du Soleil should have no fear of losing a job to me.

Any season is a good time to play and the long days of summer provide plenty of time to play and summer vacations provide the opportunity. For years I have forfeit many vacation days as I sat behind the desk trying to climb the ladder. I failed to realize that play is a part of success and should be a part of the plan, for both me and the employees. I have not been as effective or creative because I thought the boss wanted my butt in the chair. What the boss needed was a creative problem solver that was not afraid to try and fail. Play helps build that framework.

What are some of your favorite ways to play? Where do you like to play? How do you encourage play at home and work for the family and co-workers? What lies have you believed about play? How can you introduce more play into your routine?