What has generosity taught you?

This one requires you to have a writing utensil, get one; I'll wait.....

Documenting our learning is a good thing. The process of putting pen to paper increases the chances of the information sticking longer. Taking a moment to consider all that a topic has taught, gives us the opportunity to poke around in the corners of our experiences and recognize how this influences our thinking and feelings.

Write down five things generosity has taught you? Since we are living life together, I will go first, and this will give you time to get a pen I mentioned above. 

- Empathy: This virtue allows me to try to see the world from another perspective and in some small way, enter it.
- Gratitude: My generosity has cultivated an appreciation for what I have and when I have experienced the generous acts of others the gratitude is further magnified.
- Humility: I have been on the receiving end of much generosity and each time I am reminded that I can't accomplish this life on my own.
- Boldness: I have become more willing to talk about my struggles and needs. Friends have responded with various kinds of generosity; taking the time to call to make a referral or help move a household. If I don't let anyone know I need help, then I don't get it until it has become an emergency or not at all. Additionally, I rob them of an opportunity to help and they later ask "why didn't your ask?" 
- Love: My wife has generously put up with my shenanigans for a long time and graciously continues to love me in spite of my weaknesses.

Now it is your turn. Don't cheat and just scroll away. You have made it this far, so you may as well get the benefit of the exercise. It will be worth the effort, I promise.

Going Further: What opportunity has generosity provided? What generosity lessons have you learned at home, school, work and play? What learning has been a surprise? What other question about generosity must be asked?

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What motivates you to generosity?

Generosity is a primary tenant of the world's religions, and the followers respond out of gratitude, directives or the hope of a better spot in heaven. The irreligious embrace the practice as a moral imperative to meet the needs of the suffering and a desire to combat the wrongs in the world. For others, the motivation may stem from the tax write-off, their name on the University building or their legacy.

The feelings that wash over you as you extend yourself to meet the needs of others can be rather intoxicating. The desire to regularly visit the prison, serve at the soup kitchen or pull together Christmas shoe boxes for overseas orphans provide direct feedback of help offered and received. Meeting new people, sharing life and knowing you have helped someone in need, delivers quite the endorphin rush.

Does sad music dubbed over video of the abused animals stir your heart and move your feet into action or is it another cause that has your attention? How about the media blitz that follows a natural disaster or a viral stunt like the ALS ice bucket challenge a couple of years ago? The Bible discusses giving in secret, not letting your left hand know what your right hand is doing. Before I rap my gavel on the bench in judgment, I have found myself hoping just a little bit, which I would be found out, to earn a few pats on the back. What do you think about giving anonymously?

Those that have struggled on the hairy edge of survival can easily recount the generous occurrences of someone coming to their aid. I haven't been on the street, but my hairy edge experiences are enough to recall these memories of kindness that are consecrated in my mind for a lifetime. I have experienced the impact of the lower level of Maslow's hierarchy of needs not being met. I stay in fight or flight with sustained elevated cortisol levels that prevents my body from achieving rest and healing until these basic needs are met.

Going Further: How does your faith inform your generosity? How have your motives toward generosity changed? What characterizes your generosity? How do you like to be generous? What is a personal favorite story of generosity? How can you grow in this virtue?

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How are you generous to yourself?

Take a deep breath, pinch your nose and hold your breath, we are going deeper than just buying yourself a craft beer or a pedicure after a long week at the office. The pressure to be Mary Poppins and "perfect in every way," is tough to achieve. The things on our to-do list are legion. It's only proper to finish the MBA, ensure the beach body abs are rock solid, an empty email inbox, kids in the right sports with perfect A's while being respectful and cheerful. The house and lawn remain tidy and blue birds ride on your shoulder as you whistle you way home.

I live in the DC suburbs, and the area is full of movers and shakers seeking to make a difference. The air within the beltway is thick with the requirement to perform. Those that have moved away report the need to decompress and normalize, before appreciating the new hometown. Social media only fuels the fire. I post the beautiful pictures of things that are going well, and so do my friends. The stories of failure are seemingly deleted with a touch on the screen, but the expectations of a perfect life remain. 

Our complicated lives need care in all facets, and it is not limited to more time on the treadmill. Author and businesswoman, Arianna Huffington wrote a book on the importance of sleep following a physical collapse due to exhaustion. Prayer has been a longstanding practice to recenter life's priorities and calibrate worry. The practice of meditation has exploded over the last couple of years as proponents have realized a twofer, better health and increased productivity. Consumption of soft drinks and smoking continue a downward trend indicating many are making healthier choices. The collective we, are starting to pay attention to the whole person, making these topics more widely accepted to address publicly.

What does it look like for you? What are the systems you have in place to relieve daily stress? How do you prevent yourself from getting stuck in the quagmire of perfectionism? Who watches out for you, so you don't spiral into depression when things become too much? What is a concrete step you can take to be generous to you? These answers may include doing less and not adding other things to the list of must do's. You are important and we want you around a long time. The world wants your best and that is delivered through a health body, mind and spirit. Be generous to you.

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How is generosity expressed across cultures?

Two friends, one from Puerto Rico and the other from Portugal helped with anecdotal research on this inquiry. My entering assumption for the most common response to the inquiry was going to be food. David, from Puerto Rico, confirmed my assumption that an abundance of food was integral to his cultural. Food would be a major part of any celebration with a focus on the quantity available. No one goes home hungry.

During dinner, my friend from Portugal, Jose, agreed that food was a primary way to be generous in the country of his birth. The conversation turned to the second most common way the Portuguese are generous. He explained that his countrymen are quick to go out of the way to serve and offer assistance where it is needed. If you need a ride or some service, the default answer is to provide services until the job is done; getting you to your destination or completing a repair. For Jose, seeing someone down on their luck and in need of help will inspire offering something out of his grocery bag without thinking twice.

These conversations allowed excellent discussions and insight into these cultures from an angle I had not considered before and refreshed my appreciation for those lands beyond my immediate State borders. Asking this question allows the individual from another area to expound on the details of their heritage on a positive topic. In some cases, cultures are known for only one element of their history. Just as you and I have many different facets, cultures are not one one-dimensional nor one historical event. Get out there and engage with those around you; it's a brave new world, experience it!

Going Further: What has been your experience with generosity from other parts of the world? How has this shaped your view of the people? How have you encountered cultural generosity in unexpected ways? What culture are you interested in experiencing?

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Who taught you to be generous?

I would often be the last one waiting for a ride home from Granite Mountain Junior High. Eventually, the Ford truck with the burgundy stripe would pull up and my dad, grinning from ear-to-ear would apologize for running behind and then explain why he was running late. More often than not, it would involve helping someone in some capacity. Helping a customer with a flat tire, negotiating a driver to pick up another little old lady at the airport or bringing a smile to someone's face. The list was endless, frustrating and difficult to justify feelings of bitterness.

The first place I learned to be generous was at home. Cash was not plentiful, but generosity through service, work and positive encouragement was in abundance. This early example set the tone for my default when I think of being generous. Fixing a toilet, moving a household and coordinating party logistics were my recent opportunities to give.

How you apply the abundance in your life to care for those around you are just as diverse as our fingerprints. Your biography includes a history of spending your time, talents and resources to make the world a better place. How did your early examples influence your current perspective? No doubt, there are particular people and acts of giving that flood your mind, and you can see the roots of these examples sprouting in your life today. What are some of those stories? 

We may never live up to some of these early examples and may fall woefully short at other times. A missed opportunity I will always remember, was during an evening walk in Lisbon Portugal in 2000. A severely disfigured man shook his donation cup for some coins, and I never slowed my stride as I passed. Today, I would like to think; I would respond differently to the gentleman.

The good news is that you are being watched and are busy teaching the next generation how to exemplify generosity. The young child watches his father, and the aggressive intern that wants to run the company is watching how the CEO displays her generosity. Giving is a skill worth honing to make the world a better place and even if you're not concerned about the world out there; you never know what the future holds and you may need to be on the receiving end.

Going Further: What is that distinct memory of generosity that came to mind earlier in the posting? How did this event shape you? Have you ever shared the impact of this experience with the person who exemplified generosity for you? Who do you know is watching your example of generosity?

How are you generous to your teachers?

Darrell Brooks sang, with his red guitar, tucked in the corner of the sandwich shop during the lunchtime rush. The steady flow of lunch customers bustled past him in their return to the office. Every once in a while, a dollar or two would drop into his tip bowl. Darrell continued to sing a string of great covers, regardless of what fell in the bowl.

I usually seek to negotiate the best price that I can for my latest purchase. I ask for the greatest discount or scouring the web for a coupon code to knock the price lower and may have even burned a CD or two over the years. Amanda Palmer's book, The Art of Asking, challenged me regarding compensating artists for delivery of their daring work.

As I watched Mr. Brooks and heard him sing, I learned something from across the room. Truly appreciating the artist, drove my desire to compensate Mr. Brooks in exchange for his creative efforts. This singer, with the red guitar, delivered the beauty of a well-covered song to a lunchtime crowd and taught me a lesson that was long overdue. The artist earns the generosity of fans by shipping creative work.

With extreme gratitude, I emptied the contents of my pockets for the schooling. $13.65 for a life lesson is an excellent deal. Ms. Palmer prepared me to hear the lesson and today; Mr. Brooks was my soulful teacher.

We have arrived at today through the tireless efforts of a host of others that have taught us about life. Some teachers were good and others poor, but lessons were learned either way. Taking the opportunity to extend generosity to those that initiated the virtue, can take many forms and is well worth the effort. These teachers are not expecting you, and your news is the best kind of surprise.

Thank-you Mr. Brooks.

Going Further: How have you been generous to those that have invested in you? Who is still waiting? What has been the outcome of expressing generous gratitude previously? What other questions come to mind regarding your teachers?