How does your dream provide service?

I know you want food on the table, kids in college and a little bling on the finger, but how does fulfillment of your dream serve others? Does realizing your dream primarily build the empire for you or does it have a primary mission to provide service to others and fulfill your dream along the way?

This inquiry surfaced when Tim Ferriss discussed life lessons with Shep Gordon, an influential manager to many in the entertainment and celebrity chef worlds. He has been near to the famous and those that have lost their way during the last half century.

Shep sees his life as a manager, as a way to serve his clients and fulfill the vision they have for their career. He has resisted the temptation to make his career primarily about his success, but recognized serving was the way to make the greatest impact.

You pour creativity and innovative energy into the vision you have that will change your world. The blood, sweat and tears, late nights, and missing the kid's sports games to turn this dream into a tangible asset you can hold in your hands. The sacrifice is real, as you juggle the responsibilities of life with those you love and the lives you seek to impact the lives at the other end of the Internet.

The time spent in penthouses and fancy cars is no doubt fun, but the opportunity to significantly impact another life is an awesome privilege. If you are reading this, you qualify as one that can impact lives through love, care, empathy, and service.

In your pursuit of making a positive impact in the lives of those around you, you will be taken advantage of, and you will be wronged. This doesn't mean it is not worth the risk. The privilege that comes with the opportunity to pursue and realize our dreams is great and must be used for good.

Going Further: Is service part of your dream? How can service be realized while pursuing the dream? How do you intend to provide service to others through realizing your dream? What is the worst and best outcome on others when your dream is realized? How will you tip the scales for the best outcome? What question was missed?

What have you learned during the dark moments of pursuing your dream?

Each pursuit is different, but each follows the story arch of dream defined the struggle and completion. Not every dream story has a happy ending of a record IPO and the founders raising a toast on a faraway beach. The glossy pictures in the magazines make the idea of success a sure thing. After all, the rack is full of new stories each month. As the artist recounts their story; the ten years of anguished uncertainty, living in obscurity, and the families push for a 9 to 5 is all captured in a paragraph or two. 

The memes tout the benefits of the failures, setbacks and grind during the pursuit. The reality is, the trials suck. The dark days of the world not understanding what you are creating can be very dark. The creditors are calling, too much cheap pizza, the boot of responsibility to produce firmly pressed on your neck, the stress keeping the gut in a permanent knot, wreaks havoc on the mental state.

I am pursuing a vision and struggle with demands and responsibility of husband, father, and employee. At 46, have the possibilities passed me by, and I should expect to be a dust farmer, dancing on the razor's edge, for the rest of my days until the reaper comes? The unfulfilled and unexplored dreams buried with me. The resistance continues to fire the cortisol to ensure there is no relief and the dark clouds coalesce.

I

must

get

up.

I can do one more rep. I can write one more song. I can code one more string. I can submit to one more publisher. I can practice the fundamentals one more time. The injustices against the dark fingers typing the poetry will not stop the rhymes from changing the world. The slurs hurled because of my caste steel my resolve to upend the corrupt system. I must halt the cycle of drugs and poverty ingrained in the family tree, so I study another page of engineering.

What are the lessons this pursuit is teaching you and crafting your unique story of the one you greet each morning in the mirror?

"The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat." Theodore Roosevelt

How clear is your dream?

Time stops.

You did it; congratulations. Now breathe deeply.

The realized dream sits on the table before you.

Walk around and admire the achieved dream.
Does the backside of the dream meet the specifications?
What color is it?
Why did you chose this color?
What did you think when you first saw the color?
Does it shine like you expected or does the finish pull in the light?
Does your font bring the words to life?
When you pick it up off the table, do you notice a white "Made in China" sticker partially covered with a price tag on the bottom?
What do the labels say?
Does it need both hands?
Does it feel heavy in your hands?
Are you surprised by the real weight?
How is the weight distributed?
What do the corners and curves feel like as you run your fingers over the surface?
Does the plastic, glass, paper, steel, or fabric feel exactly like the factory samples?
How does the silk, copper, canvas, porcelain, or wood smell?
Taste?
What subtle notes do your senses discern in the dream?

Be still and sit with the dream.
Notice the intricate details.

Eyes see clearly.
Your dream awaits.
Open your eyes.
Time for action.

How do you encourage others to achieve their potential?

Don't believe the hype! I can't be anything I want to be; I will not be winning any Olympic gold medals in gymnastics. However, with the help of Coach Sommers at Gymnastic Bodies @gymnasticbodies or the team at Sports Fitness Advisor, I have a chance at making some seemingly incredible gymnastic moves given the time and effort. A coach goes a long way to bring specific encouragement, but what does it look like for those that we live with, work with, or bump into each day in the line for coffee?

This goes deeper than encouraging your buddy to down the entire Solo cup in one gulp. Encouragement is in short supply, and it is needed now more than ever. The FaceBook craze of tagging a friend to do 22 days of pushups to bring awareness to the loss of 22 veterans a day due to suicide is a recent indicator of the epidemic. 

Do you count yourself among those strong silent types that are not much for words? Expecting your kids to be at your bedside to hear your last words and the first time they hear "I love you, and I'm proud of you," may be a losing bet. You are going to get a bigger bang for the buck telling them now and being conscious of hearing their "thank-you."

Effective encouragement is specific. Telling a co-worker the pitch went "great" leaves plenty of encouragement left on the table. Telling her, "the preparation paid off, the customer fully understood all the elements of the pitch and as a result of her effort, they filed a purchase order," is far more memorable and meaningful than just hearing "great." 

Warning, grasping this concept is like learning that Santa Claus is not real. When you receive a weak encouragement, it doesn't resonate, but when a specific encouragement is delivered, and it received as intended, it will provide courage for the future and help those encouraged to soar. What happened this week, where you can provide specific encouragement?

Going Further: Who gives specific encouragement to you? How have you experienced the difference between general and specific encouragement? What kind of encouragement do you provide? What can you change to start providing specific encouragement? What observations do you have about encouragement?