Break is an action verb. A decision was made to embrace a commitment and the same decision to end the commitment.
This inquiry arose out of a discussion with a family member a year ago. She had been leading a nonprofit for several years and grown the influence over her tenure. The Board of Directors brought in a new Director that wanted to go in a new direction, and she was fired.
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Are you kidding me?
Of course, the schedule is crammed with sports and music lessons for my kids. Any reasonable parent would; scholarships are waiting. We sign up for all the book clubs or meet-ups we can coordinate. Weddings of college friends, birthday parties for the kindergarten, and household maintenance monopolize weekends. If in doubt, the binge watch list is awaiting our attention.
The tyranny of technology is brutal on our ability to think and recharge. The introverts solitude and the extroverts social engagements give time to tap into what we need to regain our true selves. The work, commutes, responsibilities of both kids and aging parents, and the siren call of social media tug at our attention until we are spent.
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Compassion doesn't equal indulgence. Compassion to oneself is not a license to eat the whole tub of ice cream or splurge on retail therapy at the mall.
This inquiry delves into our personal suffering and misfortune. No one gets out of this life unscathed. For eons, humanity struggled to stay alive long enough to see the next generation survive into adulthood. Life was brutal. A rape victim was told to get over it; this is a part of life, and you have work to do.
Most in the Western world have the means to survive and can now attend to the whole person. Unfortunately, the voices in our head can be our worst enemy.
Have you given yourself sufficient time to grieve the death of someone close to you? Whether sudden or a drawn out process, this death, separation, and memories flood our minds in the most surprising ways. Accepting the new normal takes time and living to adjust. Changing status to a widow, single parent, or orphan can take years.
Do you give yourself space to heal? Regardless of the trauma source, either internal or external, a place to recover relieves the pressure to deny the thinking and feelings that sweep over us when hurt. Pain hides in dark corners and until light reveals what lurks in the shadows; this painful enemy will undermine healing and disrupt plans for wellness.
How do you process your failures? The hot Silicon Valley phrase "fail fast" is an invaluable tool to understand what product changes the market demands. Failure is not always quick and often heartbreaking when we pour out our life, only to see the work go up in flames. When our business, marriage, relationships, or dreams fall apart, we must generously extend compassion to the face in the mirror.
Each of these examples has significant implications on how we encounter the world. We are not running from the black plague or living on pennies a day. We have the privilege to invest the resources of compassion in ourselves to mourn death, heal hurts, and learn from failures. What recovery tools do you use; counseling, friendship, laughter, prayer, exercise, meditation, reading, others?
How are you today?
Going Further: Where do you need to extend the gift of compassion? What is one step you will take?