How can you encourage those released from prison?

The pen hovers over the simple square on the application and hesitates.

The chance of getting hired plummets, if the felony conviction box is checked yes.

Why aren't more questions asked, and boxes for checking?
Did you serve your time?
Were you legally released?
Are you done breaking the law?
Do you want to remain out of prison?
Do you want to contribute to society?
Have you renounced your previous lifestyle?
Do you want to better the world around you?
Do you want to serve the customers and help the company grow?
Are you going to beat the odds, break the cycle, and be counted among the 33% that don't wear handcuffs again?

Why can't all these yes's add up to more than the one box at the top?

600,000 incarcerated people will leave the prison walls behind and become our neighbors and co-workers this year. The stigma, shame, and mistrust of the waiting world contribute to the rearrest of two-thirds of all inmates.

I spoke with a friend a couple of weeks after he finished his prison sentence and beginning to rebuild a life. He admits he was guilty and has now served his time. A loving family and a small network of friends welcomed him home.

He recounted how well he has it compared to those that will follow him. He shuddered. Most return to nothing at best, and a world of temptation, at worst.

Growing up, TV taught me that the only people with tattoos were sailors and ex-cons. Times have changed. I'm a former sailor without tattoos, and my son just got inked with his fifth tattoo today. It has become harder to pick these returning neighbors out of a crowd.

While opening your basement as a half-way house is one end of the spectrum, it is time to re-evaluate how we care for these women and men who have paid their debt. It can start by looking into the eyes of a fellow imperfect human being, sincerely asking, "how are you?" and waiting for the response.

Going Further: What scares you about engaging someone who has been in prison? What informs this fear? Do you see them as a fellow human? What is one step you can take to reach out to a former prisoner that could use the help?

How do you respond to panhandlers?

This inquiry is the equivalent of a DJ clearing a crowded dancefloor by playing the wrong song.

The intention is to be intellectually and emotionally honest and confront the uncomfortable questions.

The 15ish-year-old girl stood on the median at the red light. The black letters on the cardboard read, "Need help for sick family." She was lovely; black hair pulled back from her face, dressed like any other girl pulling books from a school locker. But, here she stood, not moving, eyes tethered to the ground.

She is only a couple of years younger than my daughter. I have known financial distress and endured the shame. How will this experience color her life and the lives of those that sent her out the front door?

Does she know what she is doing and just playing me as a sucker? Is there really a family member back at home, contorting in pain, counting on her ability to get a few bucks? If she is really in need, is there someone behind me that will demand more in exchange for those required few dollars?

My heart screams "change your plans, empty the wallet and bank account, give her a hug, affirm her value as a human and need to reject the shame, return her to the sick family and coordinate medical care and resolve other outstanding issues."

I didn't.

I am relieved that this one time, my cupholder is void of the $6.50 latte. The light turns green, and I turn to finish the last half mile to church. Once inside, I pray for God to help her. My list of buts is wholly unsatisfying, and my hypocrisy is a crushing weight.

How do you respond when presented with these opportunities to help? What are your rules of engagement? When do you stoop to look someone in the eyes or give a few bucks? How do you explain this situation to the kids in the back seat?

One friend keeps plastic bags with water, granola bars, and a few other items, in the car, for just this kind of situation. Some will buy food, but not cigarettes or alcohol. Others, respond with aggression and offense to being asked.

We can't sanitize the rest of our lives from meeting those in need, and there isn't a global plan to solve all problems. Inquiring of our own souls to know who stares back in the mirror is doing the required heavy lifting.

Lift.