When is it your turn?

The overhead sign, on the way into Charleston, on Tuesday, read 630 traffic fatalities in South Carolina during 2016. As we left on Sunday, the sign read 645. During my vacation, 15 lives ended and countless families were altered forever. 

The statistics lead us to believe that it will never happen to us, and it is a longshot. We don't want our turn. However, over a lifetime, the odds are against us, and an accident will touch our lives.

When the U.S. Powerball lottery topped $1.6B, the odds of winning were one in 292.2 million. Finally, I am ready to announce publicly, drum roll please... one of my five tickets was not the winner. Yep, nada, bupkiss, nothing, zero and squat is what I took from the winnings; but it was fun to dream for a day.

The statistics lead us to believe that it will never happen to us, and it is a longshot. We do want our turn. However, over a lifetime, the odds are against us, and you won't win the lottery.

Yet, we spend time dwelling on the horrific, and terrific things that can occur in our lives that are outside our influence. 

What about those things that are within our influence? When is it your turn?

Society, family and internal expectations influence our belief about when it is our turn to follow our dreams, make an impact on the world or take a risk. Most often all these influences will scream "be safe" and "don't take any risk." The safe, secure job with good benefits is the best option, and for goodness sake, "forget those crazy ideas of making a significant impact."

Seth Godin provides a clear answer in the title of his last book, What To Do When It's Your Turn (and it's always your turn). Seth encourages the reader, you and me, to decide it is our turn and not wait to be picked.

Choosing to take your turn, requires bravery. The world will most likely ignore the ideas keeping you up at night and in the worst case, will hate them. This doesn't mean to pass on your turn; it is yours, and it is waiting.

How do you experience love?

Fella's back off!
No, your significant other didn't pay me to ask this inquiry. I figured I would make you nervous all on my own and besides, Valentines Day is a long way off. Stop the Google search for flowers or chocolates; this question is really about each of us individually. Author Gary Chapman provided a framework when he listed his five love languages as words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time and physical touch. Perhaps you may need to shoehorn your preference into one of these categories, or you have another, but self-awareness is the key.

If you are convinced that this doesn't apply, then I believe you will lie about other things as well. I may be sexy, but I ain't stupid. There is a chance your true self, has been cauterized by life and your need to relearn who you are. Perhaps a strong personality, growing up, convinced you that you were wrong, and you didn't experience love expressed in a way you could understand. Your preference is not isolated to romantic love, nor is it is not too late to recognize who you are.

The beautiful couple on the silver screen or the perfect family on the small screen established the model of love for many. This model was easy to try on, make our own and never realize the fit was wrong. Our relationships may express love to us in the manner they receive love and unintentionally miss the mark for you and me. Discovering and sharing this preference demands courage and vulnerability. Graciously reminding those in our lives of this fact can transform our romantic, family, friendships and work relationships. Our eyes are opened to see things we previously missed. Be brave and get to know yourself, it will change your life.

Going Further: What are your primary and secondary ways of experiencing love? How long have your close relationships known this about you? Who expresses love for you in a way you receive? What were your relationship models? How have you applied this knowledge and how did it impact your relationships?

How do you combat gossip?

The corrosive nature of gossip will quickly cripple any community. The cancerous tendrils quickly divide friends, family and co-workers. This division scars and shuts down the creativity and prevents the interaction of everyone delivering their best.

Bad enough, is when leadership is silent or looks the other way and the cancerous cells multiply. Worse yet is when leadership actively engages in the practice. The task to kill the cancerous effects, will be nothing short of a herculean effort.

Those supporting an organization decided that it was worthwhile to dedicate their precious lives to the common cause. They only have one life and they chose you. You decided to bring them on as the best candidate and gossiping will only prevent them bringing the best they have to offer; aim carefully as you shoot yourself in the foot.

Each one of us must take the opportunity to combat the cancer. Out of the heart speaks and your words are your choice. Choose wisely.

Going Further: Where have you given into the temptation to gossip? What harm have you seen as a result? How have you felt when you have been gossiped about? Where do you need to grow in this area?