When did you last ask; how can I serve you?

Our words can mean everything or mean nothing. The receiver determines the weight and validity of what is said. Each interaction is another opportunity to tip the scales for our words to be highly valued.

Cultivating our relationships must have the same attention of our 401K. If wise investments are made, the money can fade, but the relationships remain. Rarely does someone want stacks of cash surrounding the deathbed, but friends, family, and co-workers are highly prized.

Let's not assume we know best, but humbly come and ask; 

What do you need from me and how can I serve you?

What has generosity taught you?

This one requires you to have a writing utensil, get one; I'll wait.....

Documenting our learning is a good thing. The process of putting pen to paper increases the chances of the information sticking longer. Taking a moment to consider all that a topic has taught, gives us the opportunity to poke around in the corners of our experiences and recognize how this influences our thinking and feelings.

Write down five things generosity has taught you? Since we are living life together, I will go first, and this will give you time to get a pen I mentioned above. 

- Empathy: This virtue allows me to try to see the world from another perspective and in some small way, enter it.
- Gratitude: My generosity has cultivated an appreciation for what I have and when I have experienced the generous acts of others the gratitude is further magnified.
- Humility: I have been on the receiving end of much generosity and each time I am reminded that I can't accomplish this life on my own.
- Boldness: I have become more willing to talk about my struggles and needs. Friends have responded with various kinds of generosity; taking the time to call to make a referral or help move a household. If I don't let anyone know I need help, then I don't get it until it has become an emergency or not at all. Additionally, I rob them of an opportunity to help and they later ask "why didn't your ask?" 
- Love: My wife has generously put up with my shenanigans for a long time and graciously continues to love me in spite of my weaknesses.

Now it is your turn. Don't cheat and just scroll away. You have made it this far, so you may as well get the benefit of the exercise. It will be worth the effort, I promise.

Going Further: What opportunity has generosity provided? What generosity lessons have you learned at home, school, work and play? What learning has been a surprise? What other question about generosity must be asked?

YouTube Link: What has generosity taught you?

When have you led well?

I am Frodo; I approach this inquiry as a fellow traveler, seeking to grow in my abilities. I have been in the trenches as a worker-bee and middle manager, having experienced leadership on each end of the good/bad spectrum. I have in-turn provided a spectrum to the teams I have led. Having completed some self-awareness work along my journey, I am far more aware of shortcomings than successes. This can be par for the course for a recovering perfectionist. To read how to do it all perfectly, the Amazon business section is chock-a-block of the latest leadership insights.

Take the opportunity to pause and reflect on those times when you led like you intended. You know, living the life your dog believes you live; a hero to the world. We will often skip the celebration, thinking that is for those other people and miss the chance to catalog our strengths. These pauses allow for insight into our talents and leadership styles.

Journalist, Sebastion Junger discusses how the American Indian tribes would choose their leaders based on the environment. They understood that the same leaders are not perfect for all circumstances. A reigning peace-time chief would step aside if the tribe went to war and when the fighting was complete, the war-time chief would relinquish power to a peace-time chief.

This insight may provide great encouragement as you determine where your leadership strengths exist and how they can be employed within an organization. I always wanted to believe that I was the special snowflake that was a great leader in all circumstances. This is not the case.

Insulting a contemporary, Winston Churchill stated, he is "a humble man, who has much to be modest about". This quote helps to keep me grounded and recognize that each of us has a set of strengths that need to be used just like any other specific tool in the tool belt. This realization was liberating as I was viewing leadership as an all or nothing situation. I was wrong. 

What are your leadership strengths? What was a leadership win? What historical leaders are you most alike? What successes surprised you? How do you invest in developing your leadership skills?

What is your sacred cow?

We all have them and if you claim you are sacred cow free, then most likely, we just stumbled upon your favorite bovine. Welcome to the barnyard, shake your boots off and let's have some fun. Vegan or carnivore? Build a wall or amnesty? Democrat, Republican or Independent? Christian or Muslim? Northern or Southern Africa? Pro-life or Pro-choice? Mac or Windows? You can spend the next couple minutes justifying your position and how everyone else that sees the world different is an idiot or we can take a humble moment to chat. Excellent, thanks for taking a moment to consider the cows for what they are; thoughts and beliefs that have made us the people we are today. This inquiry is about identifying the sacred cows, not confronting or tearing them down. 

Clearly identifying those topics that are too sensitive to approach is helpful in knowing ourselves. Time has granted me the gift of patience and a willingness to listen, a bit. I don't write as someone free from the barnyard. I am still convinced that many of my cows are justifiably sacred. I believe that I am a bit more approachable and willing to listen and talk about my cows, even if they remain sacred to me. We must be able to discuss why we have the thoughts and beliefs that have shaped us. 

Engaging in thoughtful discourse allows for maturation of our perspective. The opportunity to hear the opposing perspective must never be feared and allows for the nuances to be appreciated. This gift allows for engagement with another human being. Soon enough we will be bones in the grave swaddled in our precious beliefs. Now is the time to listen, engage, laugh, appreciate and learn. This life is too precious to push others away because there is a different brand on their bovine.

Going Further: What are the sacred cows your willing to discuss today that was met with a visceral response previously? What positions have solidified over the years? Can you  engage in friendly discourse across these topics? How do you appreciate the opposing perspective, even if you don't agree?