What diversity does your best-self want?

Falling short is easy. New Year's resolutions are around the corner. We will prove how easy it is to not follow-through on the new diet or workout routine soon enough.

Our best-self lays our plans and goals we want to accomplish. These noble goals are things we want to change about ourselves and the world around us. This is the self we look to for inspiration for a changed world. What does this self have to say about your embrace of diversity for today and tomorrow? What happened yesterday is done; we look to the future.

How will you encourage diversity to flourish?

Last night was a discussion with friends, and one was at the opposite end of the political spectrum. I want to develop and appreciate more friends like her. Tonight was welcoming racial diversity at out table among a sea of white faces. I want to become quicker to engage those that are different than me.

One purpose of goal setting is to grow into the person we envision our best-self to be. The nightly news showcases the worst of what humanity does to each other. For 29.5 minutes the broadcast is horrific, only confirming our worst fears. At best, the final 30 seconds is a glimpse of the generosity humanity has to offer.

Sadly, good news doesn't sell. Fortunately, the good news we generate will impact those we interact with each day. You and I can change the world. Extending kindness to the foreigner can make all the difference in the world.

The holiday season approaches, and opportunities for division, strife, and angst will abound. The temptation to come to the dinner table prepared with all the latest political or social arguments to deride the brother-in-law is almost too much to pass up. Does successfully crucifying those across the table reflect an appreciation of diversity?

There is a choice; fulfill the stereotype and come ready for battle, or be a rebel, a renegade, a radical, a maverick, or a nonconformist and come ready to love.

One choice is natural, expected, and no one will call you out on it. The other choice is hard. It requires patience, kindness, a willingness to listen, humility, and a bunch of other virtues that everyone reposts on social media.

Your best-self is brave enough for the second choice.

What conversations about diversity are missing?

Company websites will tout race and gender diversity information to recruit employees and win customers. The TV news reflects the continuing American struggle for racial equality and diversity.

Students do not equally pursue computer sciences across racial and gender lines. Since 2014, Gallup and Google have teamed up to understand the contributing factors that continue to drive this trend. I attended a Mastermind group that was best described as, "stale, pale and male." It was a pleasure to see someone other than an older, white guy engaged in conversation.

These are the most common diversity discussions. What are the other conversations that need to be brought out into the open for a broader discussion?

What is the impact of diversity on science? Ph.D. candidate, Kellie Owens questioned, "do diversity program directors seek to increase diversity in science because of political motives, [...] or because they believe that racially diverse workforces will produce better science?"

Ms. Owens found the diversity program directors were split between whether a diverse community made the science better. All directors fought for diversity; the question was about the impact on the scientific results. The argument against the impact of diversity was to say that science is "blind" and the skin color of the person running the experiment would not change the outcome.

How does your local club, church, or synagogue resemble your community? Often the group we surround ourselves with, look and sound much like the one we greet each morning in the mirror. If we are outwardly focused and seeking to impact society, then drawing from society must be on the to-do list.

A friend mentioned businesses often overlook the benefits of diversity of thought. He has found new ideas and innovation emerge from a mix of experiences, backgrounds, and education.

We have an opportunity to reflect and consider what ways our lives are homogeneous. Keeping the status quo will at best, maintain the current state of affairs. Change and a pinch of pain are part of the process of radical growth.

Going Further: What other pockets of diversity need to emerge from the shadows? What is one step you can take to broaden the diversity discussion? Who can you tag team with to bring about change? What question was missed?

Do you appreciate or tolerate?

Tolerate is the verb of diversity, and it is a poor choice.

tol·er·ate, verb.
a:  to allow to be or to be done without prohibition, hindrance, or contradiction
b:  to put up with; to put up with something trying or painful.

Is tolerance the best we can hope for today? A worldwide connection of people offering the best of every corner of the globe is at our fingertips. Why do we choose to describe this interconnectedness with merely "putting up" with one another?

Where do you define the limits of acceptable diversity; race, political, religious, sexual orientation, fiscal, or sports teams? What worldviews are your third rail and will never be included within your definition of acceptable diversity? We conveniently affix the label of "phobia" to the category outside the acceptable diversity circle, add in a bit of "ignorant," and they are now perfectly dead to us. God help us if they show up to the Thanksgiving table and don't talk to me about toleration!

We teach our kids to embrace their own interests, talents, what makes them unique, and encourage play with others on the playground. We repost our favorite memes that encourage following your own path but bristle when someone follows through and shares a different worldview.

Let's try "appreciate" instead of "tolerate" as the diversity verb of choice.

ap·pre·ci·ate, verb.
a:  to grasp the nature, worth, quality, or significance of
b:  to judge with heightened perception or understanding: be fully aware of
c:  to recognize with gratitude

Appreciation forces a discussion to understand, instead of relying upon a comfortable judgment and issuing a dismissive stereotype. It is a rare individual that has achieved all wisdom without a journey. Perhaps you and I have not reached enlightenment yet. Just maybe, one of those "third rail" people has something to teach us.

Those other kids on the playground talk funny, have names difficult to pronounce, dress weird, and eat strange foods. However, since we are grownups, maybe we appreciate the diversity of the other "kids" on the playground. From the moon's perspective, we are all in this together. Tolerance is easy; appreciation is hard, thankfully someone has been doing it for us.

Going Further: What relationship needs to shift to appreciation? What are your "third rail" topics? What groups do you refuse to integrate into your "diversity" definition?

Definition Source: http://www.merriam-webster.com/

How can you impact political policies?

Roughly 57% of eligible voters cast a ballot in the 2016 US Presidential election.

Shortly after an election, a surprisingly small number of people can recall who was elected or who their elected officials are.

An even smaller number actually engage elected officials over the course of the term. That old saying, "every vote counts" is amplified as we reach out to influence our representatives.

President Obama receives about 10,000 correspondence items a day and reads ten curated items every night he is at the White House. His staff reads and sorts every email and letter sent to the White House. A senior staffer decides what letters provide the best cross section and counter points to address current issues and forwards for the Presidents nightly reading.

Your representatives have a smaller constituency and receive less correspondence. This reduced engagement provides your opportunity to engage, lobby for your voice to be heard.

It takes a personal touch to cut through the noise of today's world; this is your opportunity to be the one to make an impact.

Going Further: Who are your elected officials, from the President to the leader of your kid's school council? What changes do you think need to happen? What is one step you can take to make your voice heard? How can you use the lack of others engagement, to become known by your representatives?

How do you embrace election results?

The votes are tallied, results are in, and victory or concession speeches delivered. Euphoria for some, dread for others. Take time for celebration and mourning; both feelings are real and justified.

We have all won and lost; each is an opportunity? Is there gloating, boasting, and shaming of the opposition? Does the slightest victory fuel ideas of a mandate from the entire populous? Do anger, resentment, and a desire to hamstring the winners flood your being?

Raw emotions are an opportunity to understand our motives and what drives us. The artist probes the depth of passion for inspiration to pen a lyric, scribble a poem, or fill a canvas. We draw near to our family and friends through celebrations, suffering, and sorrows. Now is the time to hear the whispers of the heart that are drowned out during the heat of battle.

What effort do you put into listening to a cross section of the opposition? The election is done and provides an opportunity to set aside our bias to actually hear how others see the world. Before the vote, we are too busy forming a rebuttal to listen to what was said. Now is a time to listen, empathize, and possibly hear for the first time.

If approaching from a position of victory, it is time to listen for how to serve the minority. If approaching from a position of loss, it is time to listen to how the majority of the electorate sees the world. In either case, setting aside stereotypes and approaching with mere curiosity will surprise even the most certain.

Give your favorite news outlet and the national talking heads a chance to rest. The neighbor over the back fence is ready to talk honestly. You and I are complicated individuals and painting with a broad brush doesn't work.

Our nation is too beautiful to overlook the elegant details that comprise the mosaic of people. Differences will always be present. The temptation to divisiveness and hatred will always be an option. However, a daily choice is to treasure the physical and relational mosaic or smear paint over it with the broad brush of generalization.

Regardless of what political party takes office, you won. You get to choose today; detailed brush or broad brush?

What interior conversations were prompted by meditation?

It's OK to talk to yourself, and it is even ok to answer yourself, but when you start saying "huh," you may have taken it too far.

In his book, What To Remember When Waking, Irish poet, David Whyte (@whytedw), discusses the concept of engaging in a conversation with oneself. Meditation is the perfect mechanism to prompt the discussion.

Just as with a conversation with a long-time friend, there is not an immediate need to arrive at a full answer. This unhurried conversation allows time to breathe. Time to understand what season you are in, and what is in the realm of possibility. Dwelling with the unanswered question and sitting with the silence is part of the process. Multiple seasons may pass before the revelation is before you.

Humans alone, hold the ability to envision an alternate future. The distance between where you find yourself and where you had planned may be vast. This courageous talk is a voluntary, gracious and generous exchange. Closing the gap, reconciling the past and turning to a blank page to begin anew.

This inquiry addresses the practice of meditation and continuing the conversation; not the completion of meditation or halting the conversation. Completeness is not the goal; progression is the goal.

The odds are good that there will be another day to put miles on the running shoes, roll out the yoga mat, kneel in prayer, or open the Scriptures. For the brave, the dialogue continues until the final exhale.

What conversations have occurred, what is ongoing, and what remains? What questions have you shunned?  What discussions brought radical change?

Who are the courageous among you?

The Marine rushes toward the enemy; the firefighter sprints into the building, and the bald boy stares down another round of chemotherapy. Courage is humble in nature and doesn't draw attention to itself.

The courageous walk among us and don't desire parades. They alone peer out of their eyes and are confronted with a choice; freeze or act. This choice may be an act to survive, save another, or stand firm for a cause.

I had always heard that being a grandparent was fantastic, all the fun without the responsibility. Therefore, I hacked the system and became a grandfather through marriage.

This hack provided a view of my granddaughter's courageous battle with Stage 3 thyroid cancer. This cancer diagnosis is rare for a 20-year-old. Her dream of an Air Force career was dashed as she sat in the doctor's office, listening to the news.

Ashley has been the epitome of one who refuses to be beaten down by the disease. She has poured her passion for the military and uniformed public servants into her art. This cancer fighter is on her way to building quite the artist portfolio (@ash_militaryartist) and more importantly, character refined in the fires of courage exercised.

I have encountered courage in survivors of the 9/11 Pentagon, 2013 Navy Yard shooting, domestic abuse, floods, Nazi concentration camps, veterans, those that have faced their private demons, raised a hand to ask a question and risk embarrassment, or held the hand of a dying spouse or parent.

Nobody leaves this life unscathed, and it requires courage to make it through.

Conversations are a gateway to hearing these stories. Everyone has a story and can teach remarkable things. If we walk away from a conversation bored, we have failed to ask the right questions; It's not their fault. We must learn to appreciate those standing before us and be listening for a story of courage.

Your list is different than mine; who is on your list?

Be encouraged, the odds are good your name is on someone's list.

Going Further: Are there common themes in the stories around you? What long-time friends story do you have yet to hear? When did you last encourage these stories of courage?

Photo: The Protea flower symbolizes courage.