My cousin betrayed me, and it took a change of heart to forgive.
I was about ten-years-old before paying attention to music. My cousin, Crystal, is a few years older and introduced me to the world of country music. Kenny Rodgers, The Oak Ridge Boys, Dolly Parton, and Alabama were well-worn records in my collection. We were country music fans, and nothing was going to challenge this loyalty.
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Falling short is easy. New Year's resolutions are around the corner. We will prove how easy it is to not follow-through on the new diet or workout routine soon enough.
Our best-self lays our plans and goals we want to accomplish. These noble goals are things we want to change about ourselves and the world around us. This is the self we look to for inspiration for a changed world. What does this self have to say about your embrace of diversity for today and tomorrow? What happened yesterday is done; we look to the future.
How will you encourage diversity to flourish?
Last night was a discussion with friends, and one was at the opposite end of the political spectrum. I want to develop and appreciate more friends like her. Tonight was welcoming racial diversity at out table among a sea of white faces. I want to become quicker to engage those that are different than me.
One purpose of goal setting is to grow into the person we envision our best-self to be. The nightly news showcases the worst of what humanity does to each other. For 29.5 minutes the broadcast is horrific, only confirming our worst fears. At best, the final 30 seconds is a glimpse of the generosity humanity has to offer.
Sadly, good news doesn't sell. Fortunately, the good news we generate will impact those we interact with each day. You and I can change the world. Extending kindness to the foreigner can make all the difference in the world.
The holiday season approaches, and opportunities for division, strife, and angst will abound. The temptation to come to the dinner table prepared with all the latest political or social arguments to deride the brother-in-law is almost too much to pass up. Does successfully crucifying those across the table reflect an appreciation of diversity?
There is a choice; fulfill the stereotype and come ready for battle, or be a rebel, a renegade, a radical, a maverick, or a nonconformist and come ready to love.
One choice is natural, expected, and no one will call you out on it. The other choice is hard. It requires patience, kindness, a willingness to listen, humility, and a bunch of other virtues that everyone reposts on social media.
Your best-self is brave enough for the second choice.
Company websites will tout race and gender diversity information to recruit employees and win customers. The TV news reflects the continuing American struggle for racial equality and diversity.
Students do not equally pursue computer sciences across racial and gender lines. Since 2014, Gallup and Google have teamed up to understand the contributing factors that continue to drive this trend. I attended a Mastermind group that was best described as, "stale, pale and male." It was a pleasure to see someone other than an older, white guy engaged in conversation.
These are the most common diversity discussions. What are the other conversations that need to be brought out into the open for a broader discussion?
What is the impact of diversity on science? Ph.D. candidate, Kellie Owens questioned, "do diversity program directors seek to increase diversity in science because of political motives, [...] or because they believe that racially diverse workforces will produce better science?"
Ms. Owens found the diversity program directors were split between whether a diverse community made the science better. All directors fought for diversity; the question was about the impact on the scientific results. The argument against the impact of diversity was to say that science is "blind" and the skin color of the person running the experiment would not change the outcome.
How does your local club, church, or synagogue resemble your community? Often the group we surround ourselves with, look and sound much like the one we greet each morning in the mirror. If we are outwardly focused and seeking to impact society, then drawing from society must be on the to-do list.
A friend mentioned businesses often overlook the benefits of diversity of thought. He has found new ideas and innovation emerge from a mix of experiences, backgrounds, and education.
We have an opportunity to reflect and consider what ways our lives are homogeneous. Keeping the status quo will at best, maintain the current state of affairs. Change and a pinch of pain are part of the process of radical growth.
Going Further: What other pockets of diversity need to emerge from the shadows? What is one step you can take to broaden the diversity discussion? Who can you tag team with to bring about change? What question was missed?
To quote a great American, my wife, "what are you waiting for, New Year's?" Get writing!
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keep going, don't stop, you are on a roll!
Going Further: When thinking about diversity, how do you limit yourself? What false barriers do you erect? What categories can you push deeper into and make subcategories? What perceptions does this exercise challenge?
We hate change and embracing diversity demands change.
It is easier to keep an arm's length from those that are different. I don't need to learn a new language, experience another culture, or expand my group of friends. No need to spend time adjusting my preconceived notions that may have been slightly askew.
The effect goes beyond trying a new restaurant.
As the foundations of apartheid in South Africa began to crumble, the white minorities in authority, were to realize a loss of power, influence, and wealth. As much as the progressives wanted the grievous practice to end, there was apprehension about how diversity would be embraced across the country. In a single day, the black majority embraced diversity with the white minority, as equal.
The Palestinian father's stomach is knotted as his youngest daughter, with fingers interlaced, pulls her Israeli boyfriend up the front walkway.
As the father in Fiddler On The Roof, Tevye, struggles with changing times and reminisces about the importance of tradition. Diversity pushes its way into the family by the love interest of each daughter. After all, this is how he has seen the world all his life, and now things are changing.
There will always be some new frontier that society will push to embrace as the next level of diversity. Your sure footing will be loosened by the interconnected world coming to your doorstep. Constant change is here to stay.
Going Further: How has a call to diversity arrived on your doorstep? How have you struggled to embrace diversity? What has been one benefit to diversity?
The human race likes to segment each other into groups, us and them. The conflict between rival gangs drives the plot of the Broadway show and film, West Side Story. The Sharks, are from Puerto Rico and the Jets, are local white kids. In the musical Grease, the conflict is between the T-Birds and Scorpions.
What were the divides and disputes when you were growing up?
A quick review of my Senior class yearbook revealed the minority population of Latino, Asian, and African American students was a whopping 6.835938% (rounded to the millionths place, so it feels like a bigger number). There were so few minorities; the white kids had to develop other ways to segregate. As a result, we self-selected into the standard categories promoted in Disney movies; jocks, brains, cheerleaders, cowboys, and stoners (those that smoked cigarettes behind school). Those that didn't fit into a neat category represented the unidentified mass.
My kids had a different experience. Their high school was 21% white and had a significant impact on shaping worldviews. My daughter cited the need for racial diversity as a primary driver while investigating colleges.
Where did the dividing lines emerge for you? Was it around religious sects, grades, race, after school activities, sexual orientation, socioeconomic gradients, academics, or language?
How did your crowd talk about others? What events drove the groups to break down barriers? Did you work to break the divides down or to reinforce them? How have you grown to appreciate diversity since your high school days? Where have you seen the most change?
The Fall colors were not spectacular. The reds and burgundy trees were noticeably absent from the Instagram feed of Minnesota photographer, Jordan Powers (@jrdnpwrs). Come on; this is fall, and the vibrant colors should either make my eyes bleed or my brain weary from processing the mass of color. I commented that the photos reminded me of 1970s landscape paintings. All I remember were lots of yellow trees.
His photos stuck with me because they revealed a beauty I was not expecting.
The tree colors are also muted in the Washington DC region this year. I went out for a walk in the woods this weekend to enjoy the sunny skies and brisk temperature. The woodlands were painted every hue of yellow and gold.
As much as I watched for the bright red shades, I found myself appreciating the beautiful diversity of subtle colors. If the bright colors were there, I would have primarily focused on them and missed the other 95%.
Appreciating diversity can be like an oblivious trip through the autumn forest. I meet the woman from a seemingly strange land, and I concentrate on our noticeable differences like the hijab, skin color, or language. I miss our subtle similarities; her dreams, fears, relationships and worries about parents or children, or things that make her laugh.
Only noticing the brightly colored trees of her looks, I will miss the beauty that resides in the rest of the forest. If I dare talk for long, I will find more in common at a base human level, than ever imagined.
How much more, is the case for the neighbor or co-worker that have grown-up in our same region of the world. There will always be the stark differences or areas of disagreement. The choice is to embrace both the rich and subtle beauty of the humans around us or reject the entirety.
Going Further: When have you been patient long enough to appreciate the subtleties of someone different than you? How have you applied those lessons learned? What would be the global impact if this perspective was widely adopted? How can you use this mindset as the holiday's approach?
Tolerate is the verb of diversity, and it is a poor choice.
tol·er·ate, verb.
a: to allow to be or to be done without prohibition, hindrance, or contradiction
b: to put up with; to put up with something trying or painful.
Is tolerance the best we can hope for today? A worldwide connection of people offering the best of every corner of the globe is at our fingertips. Why do we choose to describe this interconnectedness with merely "putting up" with one another?
Where do you define the limits of acceptable diversity; race, political, religious, sexual orientation, fiscal, or sports teams? What worldviews are your third rail and will never be included within your definition of acceptable diversity? We conveniently affix the label of "phobia" to the category outside the acceptable diversity circle, add in a bit of "ignorant," and they are now perfectly dead to us. God help us if they show up to the Thanksgiving table and don't talk to me about toleration!
We teach our kids to embrace their own interests, talents, what makes them unique, and encourage play with others on the playground. We repost our favorite memes that encourage following your own path but bristle when someone follows through and shares a different worldview.
Let's try "appreciate" instead of "tolerate" as the diversity verb of choice.
ap·pre·ci·ate, verb.
a: to grasp the nature, worth, quality, or significance of
b: to judge with heightened perception or understanding: be fully aware of
c: to recognize with gratitude
Appreciation forces a discussion to understand, instead of relying upon a comfortable judgment and issuing a dismissive stereotype. It is a rare individual that has achieved all wisdom without a journey. Perhaps you and I have not reached enlightenment yet. Just maybe, one of those "third rail" people has something to teach us.
Those other kids on the playground talk funny, have names difficult to pronounce, dress weird, and eat strange foods. However, since we are grownups, maybe we appreciate the diversity of the other "kids" on the playground. From the moon's perspective, we are all in this together. Tolerance is easy; appreciation is hard, thankfully someone has been doing it for us.
Going Further: What relationship needs to shift to appreciation? What are your "third rail" topics? What groups do you refuse to integrate into your "diversity" definition?
Definition Source: http://www.merriam-webster.com/
Morgan Spurlock was in pretty rough shape at the end of Super Size Me. Mr. Spurlock restricted his diet to McDonald's food for 30 days and added 24 lbs.to his waistline in the process. Quite the achievement and sustainable if the goal is meet the Grim Reaper sooner rather than later.
Attainment of the health pinnacle is through an intake of various healthy foods and functional physical exercise. Rejection of the simple processed Honey Bun carbs, calling from the cafeteria vending machine, is essential. Technology has not yet reduced our mental health to being a hard drive on the shelf. We must exercise our minds to keep them active and healthy until this perceived nirvana is achieved. Reading is a primary delivery system for mental stimulation.
It is no wonder that one of the Cleveland Clinic's 6 Pillars of Brain Health, does not include YouTube cat videos in the title.
I have my go-to genres where I spend the bulk of my time, and most categories are non-fiction. However, I have a growing appreciation of fiction. Dr. Al Mohler published his thoughts on the reading of books to ensure reading program diversity. I appreciate the intentionality he has applied to broadening his reading repertoire beyond his expected discipline.
I recently attended a local group meditation led by Tara Brach. During the visitor introduction and following meditation, I came away with an appreciation for a greater vocabulary. The discussion used language in ways I have not experienced, and it was refreshing. The good news is that you don't have to endure Washington DC traffic to reap the same rewards. Books can offer this same introduction and dialog, no matter where you call home.
Going Further: What are your predominant reading categories? When were these initially established? What prevents you from expanding the genres you read? How do you push your reading boundaries? What category was a brilliant surprise? What has been the greatest benefit of reading broadly?
Action Step: Recommend a favorite fiction book in the comments.