What strengths are you using to achieve your ambition?

No matter how sexy you look in a cape and tights, you're not perfect in every way. Every superhero has weaknesses, but her strengths are majestic and the reason the bad guys tremble.

In his upcoming book, Tools of Titans, Tim Ferriss (@timferriss) delivers a parallel truth. "You don't succeed because you have no weaknesses; you succeed because you find your unique strengths and focus on developing habits around them."

Abraham Lincoln didn't enter politics with wealthy and influential supporters lining up to back his candidacy. The strengths he employed to engage the local Illinois voters were common sense, self-deprecating humor, storytelling, and a sharp wit.

In 1832, a 23-year-old Lincoln closed his first political announcement, announcing his candidacy, with a clear description of his ambition. "Every man is said to have his peculiar ambition... I can say for one that I have no other so great as that of being truly esteemed of my fellow men, by rendering myself worthy of their esteem." While a broad ambition; history would judge Lincoln a success.

It is only fair that since a comic book hero and a real-life hero relied upon their strengths to accomplish their goals, we should follow their lead.

We must apply our strengths to our indwelling ambitions and take action. Strictly pursuing our list of weaknesses will confine us to a mental culdesac strengths languishing, and our best work carried to the grave.

Every individual brings a new combination of background and vision to each endeavor. If you want to be a musician, identify what differentiates you from the others. Your skill, personal style, stage presence, and genre you seek to master, culminate in a unique blend.

No one else brings the same tools and applies them in the same way. Identify and capitalize on this difference; the ambition is waiting.

Going Further: What strengths are you using in the pursuit of your ambition? How are you strategic about this process? How will you leverage your strengths to attain your goal? Are there elements of your strengths that need to beef up to get you across the finish line? What question was missed?

How have you shared the benefits of meditation?

Keeping all the goodness to ourselves is selfish. Speaking with our voice and our actions are a conduit to share what we have learned.

I participated in a charity fun run today and received a tour of the facility after the race. Monica, the Director of Family Services, walked us around the existing facility, explaining their process for serving the poor and homeless clients that cross their threshold.

After seeing their long-time space, we walked through the new upstairs expansion. The waiting room is spacious, bright, and will provide a much better experience for the customers that come each week looking for basic necessities. The expansion includes areas for education, dressing for success, a computer lab, and counseling.

Monica's eyes were often welling with tears as she explained the remarkably different experience families will now have due to this change. Shame looms heavily for those living on poverty's razor's edge. Visiting this new space, being treated with respect, and getting help will be a blessing for each family.

Ignacio, a new friend I met during the race, works to influence governments to grant land to indigenous peoples throughout the world. He has experienced successes but sees how powerless these people groups are against their governments without influence from the outside world. Ignacio brings the knowledge and expertise of each government's policies to bring about change.

Today's experiences prompted me to think about how you and I reach out to help those that are hurting and share what we have learned.

Meditation is a gift that can restore a proper balance and perspective to the chaos of our daily challenges. My memories of living close to the razor's edge are near. Left unchecked; current trials and memories build and fight or flight kicks into high gear. The dam that restrains cortisol breaks and anxiety floods my body.

If you knew of a homeless shelter, you would tell the refugee. If you knew political policy could help a people group save land for their tribe, you would show them.

You have discovered benefits of your particular meditation practice, and it can help those around you. Now is the time to be the lighthouse to those in need.

Going Further: How do you share your meditation story? How do you build community with the like-minded? How often do you share the effect your meditation? Why have you resisted to talk about your meditation practice? 

Who taught you how to meditate?

The self-made man is a myth. No one stands alone; we all stand on the shoulders of our predecessors.

Those who are honest will gladly admit this truth. Additionally, they will be quick to point out the kindness of a mentor who used their influence to open a door, or a trainer pushing another rep out of our spent muscles. Those who have tread the path and achieved a level of success can peer into our lives and steer us clear of the dangerous chasms ahead.

During primary school, classrooms were assigned and with a bit of luck, you didn't draw the mean-old-hag that would smack your knuckles with a ruler. Evading the monotone and stubborn college professors, was the best you could request.  Upon completion of school, geography no longer constrains our options of teachers, and the Internet makes the connection that much easier.

Meditation is an intimate activity and to invite someone near to shape how to conduct the practice is an extension of a gift of trust. These teachers are distinctive and must be carefully selected. The age-old adage, "when the student is ready, the teacher will appear," has proven true.

By providence, I met Pat and extended this gift of trust to learn about the Scriptures and prayer. His humble study and reflection of the Scriptures laid a foundation for me to approach my personal study. He patiently taught me how to approach a genuine prayer life informed by faith.

I met Tara Brach (@tarabrach), through the Tim Ferriss (@timferriss) podcast, and came to enjoy her online mindfulness meditation archive. I attended one of her weekly classes outside of DC and was not disappointed in the session. Tara introduced a new language to add to my vocabulary and a new way to approach the meditation practice.

Whose shoulders do you stand upon?

Charlie "Tremendous" Jones said, "You are the same today you’ll be in five years except for two things: the people you meet and the books you read." How can you trace the influence of your meditation teachers from five years ago to whom you are today? Following this heritage confirms you were right to trust these teachers, and they were worthy of your gift.

Well done, now is a good time to express your gratitude.

What interior conversations were prompted by meditation?

It's OK to talk to yourself, and it is even ok to answer yourself, but when you start saying "huh," you may have taken it too far.

In his book, What To Remember When Waking, Irish poet, David Whyte (@whytedw), discusses the concept of engaging in a conversation with oneself. Meditation is the perfect mechanism to prompt the discussion.

Just as with a conversation with a long-time friend, there is not an immediate need to arrive at a full answer. This unhurried conversation allows time to breathe. Time to understand what season you are in, and what is in the realm of possibility. Dwelling with the unanswered question and sitting with the silence is part of the process. Multiple seasons may pass before the revelation is before you.

Humans alone, hold the ability to envision an alternate future. The distance between where you find yourself and where you had planned may be vast. This courageous talk is a voluntary, gracious and generous exchange. Closing the gap, reconciling the past and turning to a blank page to begin anew.

This inquiry addresses the practice of meditation and continuing the conversation; not the completion of meditation or halting the conversation. Completeness is not the goal; progression is the goal.

The odds are good that there will be another day to put miles on the running shoes, roll out the yoga mat, kneel in prayer, or open the Scriptures. For the brave, the dialogue continues until the final exhale.

What conversations have occurred, what is ongoing, and what remains? What questions have you shunned?  What discussions brought radical change?

What meditation results surprised you?

What the Hell? Pavel Tsatsouline (@strongfirst), the kettlebell guru, introduced me to this concept in the physical arena. Pavel describes this effect as the result of doing an exercise to build strength in one discipline and experiencing unexpected benefits during other unrelated tasks. This new found ability is punctuated by exclaiming "What the Hell" (WTH).

I have experienced this phenomenon while practicing self-control. Saying "no" to the bagels and donuts in the office kitchenette gives strength to say "no" to buying yet another tool during the evening trip to The Home Depot. Doing the morning workout increases the chance I will get to bed on time, instead of scrolling through two hours of cat videos.

Last week, I waited for a co-worker outside of his cubicle farm before a meeting. I stood still for about 90 seconds, and a manager approached from behind asking if I was alright. I assured her that I was perfectly fine and I was just waiting for my co-worker. This expression of patience was a WTH moment that caught both of us off guard. The office staff doesn't stand still, and this was just one more example of me being a bit strange.

I learned this expression of patience during my mindfulness practice. If the current gig doesn't work out, maybe I can be a statue in the park. I am confident the spooked manager would give me a couple of bucks for my performance.

The Harvard Business Review published the following list of benefits of meditation for CEOs:
Builds resilience
Boosts emotional intelligence
Enhances creativity
Improves relationships
Helps focus

What are your WTH moments you attribute to your meditation practice?

Share in the comments and tag a friend who shared the moment!

Going Further: How long did it take before you experienced any benefit from a meditation practice? Have you encountered any unexplained benefits? Has your disposition changed since you started? Are there any benefits you have yet to realize? What about your practice are you most encouraged?

What benefits have you realized from meditation?

I move quickly and try to make the most of every moment, but for the first time, I stopped, and it was bizarre.

I handed my boss the memo routing package and expected to come back in a few minutes to answer questions, but he asked me to wait. So I sat and waited, and waited some more. The package took him 15 minutes to read before he had his first question.

I didn't read the pictures on the wall, the papers on his desk, think of my incomplete to-do list, or get impatient. I realized waiting was the most important thing for me to do and would serve him best.

I had recently begun mindfulness meditation, and this was the first real-world application I found myself doing without deliberate effort. Historically, I would resemble a caged animal trying to escape. I was shocked at my patient response during my walk to my desk to incorporate comments into the letter package.

What are your results?

Meditating in prayer and reading the holy scriptures have provided peace, encouragement, resolve, and a stronger faith. I have periodically turned this time into a legalistic religious practice over the years, and the results were stale. Approaching my time with a heart of gratitude and openness results in a radically better perspective.

Massachusetts General Hospital and Harvard Medical School, neuroscientist, Dr. Sara Lazar has done multiple studies analyzing the effects of meditation on the brain. Studies revealed increased gray matter in four areas and reduction of the "fight or flight" amygdala. I figure any help I can get to enhance gray matter performance ain't much of an option; it's critical!

Going Further: What are your stories of change and success as you have pursued meditation of various types?

What is your meditative practice?

If a friend jumped off a bridge would you do it? Maybe, if it was tall and I had a bungee cord tied to my legs, or if it was very short, over deep water and on a hot day. I am glad my parents never asked that question; it might not have ended so well.

The desire to tap into the unseen is universal.

Humanity has sought a higher power and a belief in something greater than itself for millennia. The ancient practice of meditation is a primary means to achieve this connection.

Meditation may include silence, song, movement, prayer, reading, drawing, or even running. Today's world is too connected to everything else and requires a deliberate action to still the internal voice and listen.

The practice of mindfulness has caught on as a major trend. Expanding beyond the hippie communes, into urban centers, out to the suburbs, and apps on the smartphone.

I jumped off the proverbial bridge with friends and tried several different meditative practices over the years, and have by no means exhausted the list. 

This experimentation has opened my eyes to the beauty of expression and language I had previously resisted. I believed there was only one way to meditate. I had a handy set of metrics I would use to chart my progress, and didn't need anything else. Thankfully I have grown. Sometimes it requires a crazy friend and a bridge to learn something new.

The variations are endless, but the commonality is a deliberate, regular, repeatable, contemplative, practice. There are plenty of ways to identify what group we belong, but let's start with humanity.

Going Further: How did you arrive at your current practice? How long have you been using this same practice?

What historical figure exemplifies courage for you?

Each of us can look to the past and identify a pantheon of courageous individuals, but who are those you relate to or most resonate with your story?

I have read much about Abraham Lincoln and have a stack of books awaiting their turn. Lincoln's humility and care for the common man deeply resonate with me. His courage to resist the groundswell of Northern venom against the South and not further humiliate and punish, but push for reconciliation is inspiring.

My Uncle Bruce fought at the Battle of the Chosin Reservoir during the Korean War. This battle was fought in November and December in 1951, during the areas worst winter in recorded history. Ice, snow and temperatures as low as 60 degrees (F) below zero made for a brutal U.S. Marine Corps battle.

Bruce returned to the States, built a successful insurance business, was a loving husband, and laid a solid foundation for his two sons to achieve great success. He was proud to be a member of the self-proclaimed remnant of the "Chosin Few," and used the battle earned courage to endure many follow-on challenges with a gracious heart for people.

The Apostle Paul displayed great courage as he took the Gospel to the Gentile world. He challenged the religious and political elites while graciously meeting individuals where they were at, regardless of their background.

These are three of my historical heroes that have displayed great courage. Who are three of yours and why?

Going Further: How did you first learn about your big three? What other elements of their character do you appreciate? What were some of their flaws? How does their example encourage you to be courageous?

Who are the courageous among you?

The Marine rushes toward the enemy; the firefighter sprints into the building, and the bald boy stares down another round of chemotherapy. Courage is humble in nature and doesn't draw attention to itself.

The courageous walk among us and don't desire parades. They alone peer out of their eyes and are confronted with a choice; freeze or act. This choice may be an act to survive, save another, or stand firm for a cause.

I had always heard that being a grandparent was fantastic, all the fun without the responsibility. Therefore, I hacked the system and became a grandfather through marriage.

This hack provided a view of my granddaughter's courageous battle with Stage 3 thyroid cancer. This cancer diagnosis is rare for a 20-year-old. Her dream of an Air Force career was dashed as she sat in the doctor's office, listening to the news.

Ashley has been the epitome of one who refuses to be beaten down by the disease. She has poured her passion for the military and uniformed public servants into her art. This cancer fighter is on her way to building quite the artist portfolio (@ash_militaryartist) and more importantly, character refined in the fires of courage exercised.

I have encountered courage in survivors of the 9/11 Pentagon, 2013 Navy Yard shooting, domestic abuse, floods, Nazi concentration camps, veterans, those that have faced their private demons, raised a hand to ask a question and risk embarrassment, or held the hand of a dying spouse or parent.

Nobody leaves this life unscathed, and it requires courage to make it through.

Conversations are a gateway to hearing these stories. Everyone has a story and can teach remarkable things. If we walk away from a conversation bored, we have failed to ask the right questions; It's not their fault. We must learn to appreciate those standing before us and be listening for a story of courage.

Your list is different than mine; who is on your list?

Be encouraged, the odds are good your name is on someone's list.

Going Further: Are there common themes in the stories around you? What long-time friends story do you have yet to hear? When did you last encourage these stories of courage?

Photo: The Protea flower symbolizes courage.

How were you courageous as a youth?

Troy had curly black hair, was a couple of years older, towered at least two feet over me, and muscles that would have caused the Terminator to think twice.

Well, maybe he was only a few inches taller and had the average 8th grade build. Perhaps, time has calibrated my memory. Troy terrorized my early days of Middle School through daily intimidation. I was not beaten up, but his presence caused me to change direction or backtrack for avoiding a confrontation.

Everything changed in a moment, with a flash of courage. I was wearing a stylish black fake motorcycle jacket with silver zippers on the chest. The kind of cool jacket that only the early 80's could produce. The day of reckoning occurred one afternoon outside the gym. Troy ran up to me and said he could spit in one of my open zipper pockets. With knees trembling, I stood my ground, replied "yes you could" and pushed my way past him.

I don't remember much of what I learned in school over those years, but I do know that Troy was never a problem again. This display of courage may have been one of my greatest lessons I remember; thanks, Troy.

In The Gifts Of Imperfection, writer and research professor, Brene Brown references an earlier version that is closer to the Latin root; "To speak one's mind by telling all one's heart." This definition supports the courage you and I can exhibit each day as challenges come our way. Most are not running from lions for survival or running into burning buildings to save lives.

Our courage challenge is to remain faithful to who we are as individuals. To stand up for who we are, the causes we believe, speaking for the voiceless and changing at least our corner of the world becomes our mission. Pushing back on the internal resistance that demands cowering to fears and temptations, is when courage is on full display.

Youthful moments of courage can prove to be defining moments and the seeds for today's courage. The courage of vulnerable living, creating your art and shipping it to the world, and choosing gratitude in the face of a trial are a few of the daily demonstrations. The world is awaiting your courage and will be less without it.

Going Further: What is your story of youthful courage? Did your circumstances dictate a consistent type of courage? How did this early exposure to courage influence your life today?

How do you resolve conflicts with friends?

Friends are one of our greatest assets and a critical component of the human experience. Any reflection of our history will include those friends that walked the road by our side. The faces and memories flash before our mind's eye, like flipping through a Classic ViewMaster.

What happens when disagreements arise and escalate to conflict? Conflict is part of the human condition, no need to shy away from the reality. It is safe here. 

In Managing Conflict Through Communication, authors Dudley D. Cahn and Ruth Anna Abigail, explain the resolution phase will end in one of two orientations; either resolution or management. When a resolution has occurred, both parties are satisfied. Dissatisfied and risk of the issue resurfacing are characteristics of a management orientation.

Do you typically resolve or manage your conflicts? I have been working at my ability to bring a conflict to a resolution. To be clear, this does not imply arrival or perfection. Several factors have been at work to spur this growth. 

Brene Brown's work on vulnerability has been helpful to recognize what I am thinking and feeling, and what recordings are playing in my mind. Laziness has been another factor in resolving conflict. Yeah, one-time laziness is good. It takes so much energy to stay angry and hold a grudge, I just don't have it. I want to use my limited resources and strength to concentrate on things that matter for good.

Conflict is a two-party affair, but evaluating what I bring to the battle has been helpful; while assuming the friend has their issues to work through.

Once I have taken the time to understand what I desired, but did not get; I am on a path to resolving things. Did I want to be heard, respected, to be found correct, or did I perceive that my rights were violated? What was it that I really wanted? Was the other party in a position to listen? How can I communicate my desires to the other person, it a manner they will adequately hear?

How have you grown in your ability to resolve conflicts? What tactics do you use to prevent conflicts? Do you have any unresolved conflicts with friends; what steps can you take to bring the dispute to a resolution? Do you have hope for reconciliation? What friendship became stronger after resolving a conflict?

Photo: Little Chapel in the Woods, Texas Women's University, Denton Texas.

How do friends inspire your personal growth?

Masters exist for every discipline and knife sharpening is no exception. The master knife sharpener carefully chooses the right stone for each knife. A stone with course grit is selected when the blade has extensive damage and requires removal of a lot of material. When the blade is in good condition, and the edge just needs to be refined a fine grit stone is selected. 

Knowing how to sharpen a knife, takes deliberate practice. The task is intentional and repetitive. It isn't glamorous and sexy, but it is critical to the success of a butcher, chef or knight in shining armor.

Preparing the tools of the trade is integral, and the time invested pays great dividends during the chef's mealtime rush. Before the next shift, another round of sharpening occurs because knives don't stay sharp with use. 

The friends we have chosen, or that magically show up in our lives, can help to refine our dull edges and make us useful.

As a young man, I had a lot of rough edges and required friends with course grit to remove the major dings. I would like to think I have arrived at the day when only a polishing stone is needed to sharpen additional elements of my character to a useful edge. However, dings still exist, just in different categories.

Our friends are incredible examples of imperfect people that achieve amazing results. Resist the temptation for jealous comparison and rejoice that such talent surrounds us. After all, you are on their list for incredible talent.

I am inspired to grow as a follower of Christ, husband, father, son, businessman, athlete, employee, artist, writer, and inspiration because of my friends. Their examples of love, compassion, generosity, hospitality, kindness, diligence, intellectual prowess, grit, courage, forgiveness, and many other traits, remind me that my edge is not perfectly sharp. 

The process of becoming and staying sharp requires intentional time on the stone.

Going Further: What are three friends have inspired you to grow in a particular area of your life? How were these friends helpful? Were these areas that required a course or fine grit stone to get you sharp? What areas do you currently need help from a friend? What prevents you from embracing this help? Are you surrounded by friends that will inspire you to grow?

How can you surprise and delight your organization?

Separately is good, but the combination makes a memory. Famous pairs just seem to fit together like peanut butter and jelly, Lucy and Desi, stars and stripes, chocolate and raspberry, rock and roll, and surprise and delight.

A surprise is easy to deliver. All I need is a spooky night and a bush to jump from behind. Delight requires knowing something about the individuals who will receive the benefit and it takes a greater level of awareness of the recipient.

People comprise organizations and their days are full of the grind. The myriad of responsibilities composed of; kids sports, commutes, hard work, family expectations, and anything else that needs to get done. To receive a delightful surprise outside of birthdays and holidays is rare. You have an opportunity to make an outsized impact on your organization through observing and taking advantage of what you know about those whom you spend all day. 

It does not require a round-the-world cruise; just an ear to hear what others say and a willingness to invest a few minutes. Write a note of encouragement or pick up a few items at the local dollar store; it doesn't have to be expensive, just purposeful.
 
I was on a mission to create the perfect chocolate and raspberry brownies over the course of several years. We cycled through our friends and neighbors delivering foil packages of brownies. It was great fun to make the brownies; planning the intended recipients, mixing, baking,  packaging and delivering. This practice provided the chance to teach the kids about giving, but also what it was like to surprise and delight those we loved. 

Your organization needs to be shaken up with some delightful surprises. Your turn to exercise your creativity, get out of your comfort zone and get to surprising and delighting.

Fill in the comments about your experience.

How is humility displayed in your organization?

This inquiry assumes humility is a desirable trait in an organization and seeks to identify where it exists.

Merriam-Webster defines humility as; "the quality or state of not thinking you are better than other people."

It is not bragging if you answer the question.

How do you and your co-laborers display this virtue?

What are characteristics of your best organizations?

People define organizations. We often think of a company, mission, location, or a building when asked about our organization, but the people are what makes them distinct.

A co-worker and I were discussing organizations where we had worked, and she observed my demeanor completely changed when I considered a particular organization in comparison to the others. I didn't notice the radical disposition shift until it was mentioned. Recounting the strengths of the team, I found myself, well, kinda gushing. It wasn't perfect, but there was a lot that was right.

What were some of your organizations that nailed the important issues? A particular synagogue, a 4H club, one of your jobs, a gym, an Occupy Wall Street movement, a choir, a band, or a hundred other variations where people come together for a joint mission, would all apply.

What were the important characteristics you recall that made it special?

My experience included clear leadership that was aligned and allowed the rest of the team to focus on the task at hand, vice quibbling about office politics and jocking for position. Upper management would patiently listen to input and opposing viewpoints, then make a decision to execute. Each team was talented in their respective space, respected the other teams, and would counsel with each other when there was a need to address a seam issue. Being accountable to a high standard, given the freedom to work the plan, and get backing when a mistake occurs, or a roadblock needed breaking. The team bonded and built a close working relationship, making it a great place to work.

Even if the work sucks, the ability of the team to thrive in less than ideal conditions is possible and will often build stronger bonds. Shared suffering creates fast friends. When did your team bond over common pain?

Recounting the successes you have experienced, allows you to introduce these concepts to your current organizations and begin to be the seed of growth. The 10 o'clock news will tell you all that is wrong, and it takes intentional action to push back and make a positive change for you and your team. The good news is you don't have to wait to own the company; just start paying forward the goodness you have experienced.