How do you experience love?

Fella's back off!
No, your significant other didn't pay me to ask this inquiry. I figured I would make you nervous all on my own and besides, Valentines Day is a long way off. Stop the Google search for flowers or chocolates; this question is really about each of us individually. Author Gary Chapman provided a framework when he listed his five love languages as words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time and physical touch. Perhaps you may need to shoehorn your preference into one of these categories, or you have another, but self-awareness is the key.

If you are convinced that this doesn't apply, then I believe you will lie about other things as well. I may be sexy, but I ain't stupid. There is a chance your true self, has been cauterized by life and your need to relearn who you are. Perhaps a strong personality, growing up, convinced you that you were wrong, and you didn't experience love expressed in a way you could understand. Your preference is not isolated to romantic love, nor is it is not too late to recognize who you are.

The beautiful couple on the silver screen or the perfect family on the small screen established the model of love for many. This model was easy to try on, make our own and never realize the fit was wrong. Our relationships may express love to us in the manner they receive love and unintentionally miss the mark for you and me. Discovering and sharing this preference demands courage and vulnerability. Graciously reminding those in our lives of this fact can transform our romantic, family, friendships and work relationships. Our eyes are opened to see things we previously missed. Be brave and get to know yourself, it will change your life.

Going Further: What are your primary and secondary ways of experiencing love? How long have your close relationships known this about you? Who expresses love for you in a way you receive? What were your relationship models? How have you applied this knowledge and how did it impact your relationships?

How do you inspire others?

Humans are social creatures and we have an opportunity every day to build others up or tear them down. I struggle with sadness due to all of the killing that has been happening and my heart breaks for the friends and families directly affected. The acidic political fighting that fills the airwaves does not reflect a country of hope, but one of fear and further division. The Cold War and AIDS were the specters looming over my shoulder growing up. The wars in Iraq and Afghanistan were the shadow for my kids and it looks like terror attacks will be what unsettles the next generation. Is this really the best we can do in the new millennium? 

The Summer Olympics in Rio will no doubt bring great athletic feats for us to marvel. Grace and power revealing what talent, hard work and perseverance can deliver. This will be exciting to see, but it is still presented through a glowing screen. You, you have an opportunity to engage the world around you and deliver some inspiration. Sing, write, give hugs, buy someone a cup of coffee, visit the prison, wash the widows car, paint, sincerely ask "how are you" and wait for the answer, take the kid on the corner out for some ice cream, make yet another cat video for YouTube, teach a class, start a prayer group, learn a new language to speak to the immigrant neighbor, visit a mosque, dance!

It doesn't require a trip around the world to find someone in need; I am confident, that within 200 yards of you, there is someone that could benefit from interacting with you, today, even right now. Give the gift of attention, it is a precious commodity, and rarity in our current day. It will take courage and vulnerability, and you have that deep inside, give it a chance to erupt through kindness. The world is looking for a glimmer of goodness and a reason to smile; you can be just the person to deliver.

Going Further: Who inspires you? Who can you inspire?