What was your courage to start?

The blank page awaits, the weights rest, the canvas leans in the easel, and your shingle anticipates being hung.

The world is oblivious.

You know what must be done.

The restless seed of courage comes to life. Emergent, but real. This beginning, this sprout of life, is where your maddening idea started to take root in the soil of your ambition.

You are the one; creation must happen, action taken, and an idea pursued.

How did this all start? What is your origin story? Was it a flash of inspiration or a slow burn demanding satisfaction?

My beginning was a slow burn. I didn't know the form, but a seed had sprouted. I was encouraged that I could connect different ideas and knew how to ask good questions. Looking to share the benefits of dwelling with an inquiry and weaken my fear of what other think of me, I started to write.

Did you want to live to 150, get the degree, chisel the 6-pack abs, make your first million, build a legacy, help a million people, or find a cure for cancer?

Lao Tzu wrote; "the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." What tipped the scales and drove you to take the first step of action? Knowing this catalyst is important and will need to be revisited when the road gets hard; after all, a thousand miles is a lot of steps.

Share your story, as there is much work to be done. Courage is inspiring and better yet; it is contagious. Keep pushing to grow. Soon enough, the once sparse land populated with weak saplings will be a sweeping forest of redwoods.

Add your story to the comments and tag a fellow "Redwood."

Going Further: How do you define your first courageous steps? What internal or external opposition did you need to overcome at the beginning? Has the opposition strengthened or weakened? What is the new opposition? What are your new tactics to be courageous? Did you think you would arrive at your current destination? What do you think about the timing of your arrival?

Who are the courageous among you?

The Marine rushes toward the enemy; the firefighter sprints into the building, and the bald boy stares down another round of chemotherapy. Courage is humble in nature and doesn't draw attention to itself.

The courageous walk among us and don't desire parades. They alone peer out of their eyes and are confronted with a choice; freeze or act. This choice may be an act to survive, save another, or stand firm for a cause.

I had always heard that being a grandparent was fantastic, all the fun without the responsibility. Therefore, I hacked the system and became a grandfather through marriage.

This hack provided a view of my granddaughter's courageous battle with Stage 3 thyroid cancer. This cancer diagnosis is rare for a 20-year-old. Her dream of an Air Force career was dashed as she sat in the doctor's office, listening to the news.

Ashley has been the epitome of one who refuses to be beaten down by the disease. She has poured her passion for the military and uniformed public servants into her art. This cancer fighter is on her way to building quite the artist portfolio (@ash_militaryartist) and more importantly, character refined in the fires of courage exercised.

I have encountered courage in survivors of the 9/11 Pentagon, 2013 Navy Yard shooting, domestic abuse, floods, Nazi concentration camps, veterans, those that have faced their private demons, raised a hand to ask a question and risk embarrassment, or held the hand of a dying spouse or parent.

Nobody leaves this life unscathed, and it requires courage to make it through.

Conversations are a gateway to hearing these stories. Everyone has a story and can teach remarkable things. If we walk away from a conversation bored, we have failed to ask the right questions; It's not their fault. We must learn to appreciate those standing before us and be listening for a story of courage.

Your list is different than mine; who is on your list?

Be encouraged, the odds are good your name is on someone's list.

Going Further: Are there common themes in the stories around you? What long-time friends story do you have yet to hear? When did you last encourage these stories of courage?

Photo: The Protea flower symbolizes courage.

How were you courageous as a youth?

Troy had curly black hair, was a couple of years older, towered at least two feet over me, and muscles that would have caused the Terminator to think twice.

Well, maybe he was only a few inches taller and had the average 8th grade build. Perhaps, time has calibrated my memory. Troy terrorized my early days of Middle School through daily intimidation. I was not beaten up, but his presence caused me to change direction or backtrack for avoiding a confrontation.

Everything changed in a moment, with a flash of courage. I was wearing a stylish black fake motorcycle jacket with silver zippers on the chest. The kind of cool jacket that only the early 80's could produce. The day of reckoning occurred one afternoon outside the gym. Troy ran up to me and said he could spit in one of my open zipper pockets. With knees trembling, I stood my ground, replied "yes you could" and pushed my way past him.

I don't remember much of what I learned in school over those years, but I do know that Troy was never a problem again. This display of courage may have been one of my greatest lessons I remember; thanks, Troy.

In The Gifts Of Imperfection, writer and research professor, Brene Brown references an earlier version that is closer to the Latin root; "To speak one's mind by telling all one's heart." This definition supports the courage you and I can exhibit each day as challenges come our way. Most are not running from lions for survival or running into burning buildings to save lives.

Our courage challenge is to remain faithful to who we are as individuals. To stand up for who we are, the causes we believe, speaking for the voiceless and changing at least our corner of the world becomes our mission. Pushing back on the internal resistance that demands cowering to fears and temptations, is when courage is on full display.

Youthful moments of courage can prove to be defining moments and the seeds for today's courage. The courage of vulnerable living, creating your art and shipping it to the world, and choosing gratitude in the face of a trial are a few of the daily demonstrations. The world is awaiting your courage and will be less without it.

Going Further: What is your story of youthful courage? Did your circumstances dictate a consistent type of courage? How did this early exposure to courage influence your life today?

Why do you change friends?

The promise of lifelong childhood friendships rarely last. This pledge, the secret handshakes, and stories of first love are set aside as our circle of friendship expands beyond our city block.

The pain is excruciating the first time we learn our best friend will be moving. A parent's new job, the need for a new school district, a divorce, or a thousand other reasons, never resolve the pain. Technology makes it easier to keep in touch, but if you are out-of-site, then out-of-mind follows. 

How do you define your circle of friends? 

- Is location a primary driver? A new school, new job, or new home?
- Does your financial situation support friendships you couldn't previously afford?
- Religious, political, or cultural affiliations often draw solid lines of who is in the circle of friendship and who would never be permitted.

How have you made new friends when there has been a change?

We have one life, a finite amount of time, and our friendships are our choice. Those who we choose to spend our time with, our most precious possession must be a blessing. 

Do you have a particular friend that steers you in a direction that is not healthy? Is it time for a change?

How do you resolve conflicts with friends?

Friends are one of our greatest assets and a critical component of the human experience. Any reflection of our history will include those friends that walked the road by our side. The faces and memories flash before our mind's eye, like flipping through a Classic ViewMaster.

What happens when disagreements arise and escalate to conflict? Conflict is part of the human condition, no need to shy away from the reality. It is safe here. 

In Managing Conflict Through Communication, authors Dudley D. Cahn and Ruth Anna Abigail, explain the resolution phase will end in one of two orientations; either resolution or management. When a resolution has occurred, both parties are satisfied. Dissatisfied and risk of the issue resurfacing are characteristics of a management orientation.

Do you typically resolve or manage your conflicts? I have been working at my ability to bring a conflict to a resolution. To be clear, this does not imply arrival or perfection. Several factors have been at work to spur this growth. 

Brene Brown's work on vulnerability has been helpful to recognize what I am thinking and feeling, and what recordings are playing in my mind. Laziness has been another factor in resolving conflict. Yeah, one-time laziness is good. It takes so much energy to stay angry and hold a grudge, I just don't have it. I want to use my limited resources and strength to concentrate on things that matter for good.

Conflict is a two-party affair, but evaluating what I bring to the battle has been helpful; while assuming the friend has their issues to work through.

Once I have taken the time to understand what I desired, but did not get; I am on a path to resolving things. Did I want to be heard, respected, to be found correct, or did I perceive that my rights were violated? What was it that I really wanted? Was the other party in a position to listen? How can I communicate my desires to the other person, it a manner they will adequately hear?

How have you grown in your ability to resolve conflicts? What tactics do you use to prevent conflicts? Do you have any unresolved conflicts with friends; what steps can you take to bring the dispute to a resolution? Do you have hope for reconciliation? What friendship became stronger after resolving a conflict?

Photo: Little Chapel in the Woods, Texas Women's University, Denton Texas.

What kind of influence are you?

Apparently, I'm not a good one. I had been talking to a friend about my appreciation of Belgian wheat beers and then started talking about the various  Piscos, I had enjoyed. He replied that he was cutting back because he found himself drinking each night and it was impacting the family. It felt like the story went a bit deeper and recounting my enjoyment of adult beverages, was not helping him resist temptation.

Friends listen to each other, pick up on subtleties, and come alongside to help where needed. Each one of us has a laundry list of "yes" or "no" things we should embrace or resist. A caring friend will know what is on each of our lists.

A doughnut on National Doughnut Day is one thing, encouraging your dieting friend to restrict their doughnut intake to only those days of the week that end in "day," is not helpful. Someone trying to regain control of their budget is served by a stroll through the park vice the local marketplace. 

Confidence to achieve significant efforts is through small day-to-day decisions building on each other. Reinforcing these decisions defines our role as a friend.

Pause and reflect on your closest friendships. What kind of friend are you? Draw the circle a bit bigger; are you consistent in your care for this next group of friends?

Going Further: How do you specifically encourage your friends in their pursuits? How do you help your friends exercise self-control? When did you fail a friend and what did you both learn? Did the friendship survive? What changes do you need to make, to care for your friends honestly? How would these changes benefit your relationships? What question was missed?

Hey you, remember, these inquiries are here for you!

174 posts into the Inquiry Of The Day (IOTD)365 project, almost at the 50% mark. My hope is that you are more comfortable reflecting on the daily inquiry. 

Status check. Have you (check all that apply)
Been encouraged?
Been challenged?
Been offended?
Discussed the content on a road trip or date night?
Been irritated?
Been inspired?
Laughed?
Taken a trip down memory lane?
Shared this site?
Used an inquiry to talk with others?
Reflected on an experience in a new light?
Been scared of your answer?
Called someone as a result of your answer?
Taken another action based on your answer?

How has this project helped you? The community will benefit from your answer in the comment section below.

The word on the street is that my writing is improving. I have been tempted to go back to clean up the earlier content but have chosen to leave it as is. This project is a learning process; there should be evidence of growth, and my inability to proofread through bleary eyes.

Thank-you for your investment in yourself and the IOTD365 community. The world is a better place when we are paying attention to how we see those around us and are willing to investigate our response.

Keep diving into the inquiries and make it a great week!

How have your friends sacrificed for you?

Your flood of memories may have started with a phone call from a Tijuana jail cell during your college days or the surprise delivery of a late night cup of coffee last week. 

Our friends are those we depend on to help us out of a jamb, be a listening ear, or preventing us from drunk-dialing our ex. They are faithful to remind us to be our better self. We do need at least one friend that keeps things a tad exciting and is willing to take us to the edge of our comfort zone.

My friends have been hero's over the years; moved me several times, helped me out of a financial pinch, fixed my car, babysat kids to enable date nights, invested hours translating mathematics and code to an understandable language, and there was that nasty clean-up experience in Boston following my bachelor party. Trust me; good friends are priceless.

Explore your history and recount those times a friend has rallied to your side to see you through the tough and memorable events.

Going Further: What experiences come to mind and who met your needs? How have you expressed your gratitude? Has the relationship changed since you made your memories together?

How do friends inspire your personal growth?

Masters exist for every discipline and knife sharpening is no exception. The master knife sharpener carefully chooses the right stone for each knife. A stone with course grit is selected when the blade has extensive damage and requires removal of a lot of material. When the blade is in good condition, and the edge just needs to be refined a fine grit stone is selected. 

Knowing how to sharpen a knife, takes deliberate practice. The task is intentional and repetitive. It isn't glamorous and sexy, but it is critical to the success of a butcher, chef or knight in shining armor.

Preparing the tools of the trade is integral, and the time invested pays great dividends during the chef's mealtime rush. Before the next shift, another round of sharpening occurs because knives don't stay sharp with use. 

The friends we have chosen, or that magically show up in our lives, can help to refine our dull edges and make us useful.

As a young man, I had a lot of rough edges and required friends with course grit to remove the major dings. I would like to think I have arrived at the day when only a polishing stone is needed to sharpen additional elements of my character to a useful edge. However, dings still exist, just in different categories.

Our friends are incredible examples of imperfect people that achieve amazing results. Resist the temptation for jealous comparison and rejoice that such talent surrounds us. After all, you are on their list for incredible talent.

I am inspired to grow as a follower of Christ, husband, father, son, businessman, athlete, employee, artist, writer, and inspiration because of my friends. Their examples of love, compassion, generosity, hospitality, kindness, diligence, intellectual prowess, grit, courage, forgiveness, and many other traits, remind me that my edge is not perfectly sharp. 

The process of becoming and staying sharp requires intentional time on the stone.

Going Further: What are three friends have inspired you to grow in a particular area of your life? How were these friends helpful? Were these areas that required a course or fine grit stone to get you sharp? What areas do you currently need help from a friend? What prevents you from embracing this help? Are you surrounded by friends that will inspire you to grow?

How can you surprise and delight your organization?

Separately is good, but the combination makes a memory. Famous pairs just seem to fit together like peanut butter and jelly, Lucy and Desi, stars and stripes, chocolate and raspberry, rock and roll, and surprise and delight.

A surprise is easy to deliver. All I need is a spooky night and a bush to jump from behind. Delight requires knowing something about the individuals who will receive the benefit and it takes a greater level of awareness of the recipient.

People comprise organizations and their days are full of the grind. The myriad of responsibilities composed of; kids sports, commutes, hard work, family expectations, and anything else that needs to get done. To receive a delightful surprise outside of birthdays and holidays is rare. You have an opportunity to make an outsized impact on your organization through observing and taking advantage of what you know about those whom you spend all day. 

It does not require a round-the-world cruise; just an ear to hear what others say and a willingness to invest a few minutes. Write a note of encouragement or pick up a few items at the local dollar store; it doesn't have to be expensive, just purposeful.
 
I was on a mission to create the perfect chocolate and raspberry brownies over the course of several years. We cycled through our friends and neighbors delivering foil packages of brownies. It was great fun to make the brownies; planning the intended recipients, mixing, baking,  packaging and delivering. This practice provided the chance to teach the kids about giving, but also what it was like to surprise and delight those we loved. 

Your organization needs to be shaken up with some delightful surprises. Your turn to exercise your creativity, get out of your comfort zone and get to surprising and delighting.

Fill in the comments about your experience.

What is your organization's reputation?

My daughter was intrigued by the possibilities of an internship during the school year. She was going to figure out a way to travel the distance each week, and the dream began to take shape. The dream dissipated when she bumped into a senior classmate who had done the internship. The classmate explained the 10-hour days, getting berated for minor issues, and living the life of a second-class citizen.

What do former members say about the organization? Those that left the team carry valuable insight about the ins and outs of how things work. Is this insight sought out, gathered, reviewed and archived? When does the archive get examined to determine if the change has occurred, or if history is about to be repeated? Does leadership see this input as a valuable resource or is it ignored?

What does your current team say about the organization? Does the annual climate survey input drive change or is it just to impress stakeholders? How does leadership pursue regular information and turn it into action? How is a genuine sincerity and desire to serve expressed through the team?

What do your customers say about the organization? People comprise the organization. Real flesh and blood are making decisions, answering the phone after clients have navigated the labyrinth of phone menus, and conduct house calls to repair the products. Do the customers have the same realization or is the team just another conglomeration without a face?

What do you say about the organization? What are the descriptors you use when talking to a neighbor as the kids play sports? Are you proud to state who you lock arms with each day? 

If many employees suffer the same trials as my daughter was about to endure, it is only a matter of time before major trouble is experienced and everyone suffers; the founders, employees, and customers. Catch cancer early for any chance of survival. 

Going Further: What changes are required? Who is your contact to discuss these matters? When will you express your observations to drive change?What is one step you can do to make a positive impact?

How has your organization changed you?

Shirley has been a carhop at the Keller's Drive-In hamburger joint, in Dallas Texas, for 51 years. I asked Shirley what kept her carhopping at Keller's so long, and she replied, "nothing changes and that's just the way I like it." Looking around this favorite local eatery, I had to agree; it didn't look like much had changed in 50 years.

The dream is to work with organizations that encourage delivering your best work via your gifts and talents. Rarely is it a perfect match and compromises are made to fit into the existing team. 

I respect those who have a healthy self-awareness; knowing their strengths and weaknesses. This awareness supports the ability to discern how to respond when asked to change and bend to the organizational needs. 

If the requested change is a skill worth learning and added to the professional toolbox, then it is worth pursuing change. If the new direction is not in alignment with the true self, a decision is in order. Do you compromise on your strengths or reject the decree, and go in a new direction? Author, Derek Sivers wrote that we should enthusiastically say "Hell Yes," or "No" to any decision. Sober self-awareness is a helpful guide.

I am an optimist and find joy in all kinds of work. Primarily focusing on the silver lining and how it could work out vice conducting a sober assessment of the opportunity. I can be slow to listen to self-awareness due to fear of missing out on the next rung of the ladder and attempt to be something I am not. 

Embracing a challenge and pursuing growth is good. Bending is ok, but contorting and breaking is painful.

The self-aware are comfortable with the uncertainty of pursuing meaningful change. Adhering to self-imposed boundaries offers the freedom to say "hell yes" or "no" with confidence.

Shirley has decided to live the life of a carhop, proficient in a job that offers little change and doesn't challenge her boundaries. I am getting better at discerning when to evolve, bend or pass. What is your story?

How is humility displayed in your organization?

This inquiry assumes humility is a desirable trait in an organization and seeks to identify where it exists.

Merriam-Webster defines humility as; "the quality or state of not thinking you are better than other people."

It is not bragging if you answer the question.

How do you and your co-laborers display this virtue?

What are characteristics of your best organizations?

People define organizations. We often think of a company, mission, location, or a building when asked about our organization, but the people are what makes them distinct.

A co-worker and I were discussing organizations where we had worked, and she observed my demeanor completely changed when I considered a particular organization in comparison to the others. I didn't notice the radical disposition shift until it was mentioned. Recounting the strengths of the team, I found myself, well, kinda gushing. It wasn't perfect, but there was a lot that was right.

What were some of your organizations that nailed the important issues? A particular synagogue, a 4H club, one of your jobs, a gym, an Occupy Wall Street movement, a choir, a band, or a hundred other variations where people come together for a joint mission, would all apply.

What were the important characteristics you recall that made it special?

My experience included clear leadership that was aligned and allowed the rest of the team to focus on the task at hand, vice quibbling about office politics and jocking for position. Upper management would patiently listen to input and opposing viewpoints, then make a decision to execute. Each team was talented in their respective space, respected the other teams, and would counsel with each other when there was a need to address a seam issue. Being accountable to a high standard, given the freedom to work the plan, and get backing when a mistake occurs, or a roadblock needed breaking. The team bonded and built a close working relationship, making it a great place to work.

Even if the work sucks, the ability of the team to thrive in less than ideal conditions is possible and will often build stronger bonds. Shared suffering creates fast friends. When did your team bond over common pain?

Recounting the successes you have experienced, allows you to introduce these concepts to your current organizations and begin to be the seed of growth. The 10 o'clock news will tell you all that is wrong, and it takes intentional action to push back and make a positive change for you and your team. The good news is you don't have to wait to own the company; just start paying forward the goodness you have experienced. 

What happens to those outside the circle of trust?

Circles of trust start on the playground and extend to the boardroom. The playground cliques hurt feelings; in the workplace, productivity and creativity are stunted.

The org chart contains boxes representing people conducting important work. A massive cost of time and money is invested filling each box with a name. Justifying the position to the boss, critiquing the job description, recruiting, hiring, and onboarding is needed to fill the rectangle on the chart. The new hire dives-in, ready to help do the necessary heavy lifting and achieve the mission.

Seeds of mistrust are sown among the team members when an organization tolerates a "circle of trust" mentality. The team will struggle to gain access to the circle as us vs. them competitions heat up. As leaders, it is critical to ask; this the business legacy we are striving to build? What benefits do you expect with this methodology?

What hoops does the newbie have to jump through to prove her worthiness and gain access to the circle? Once in, there is always a danger of losing her status; a misspoken word in the morning meeting, quoting the wrong budget answer, wearing the wrong suit, or bravely pitching her edgy idea at the sales meeting. Living on the edge is exhausting.

The line of demarcation may have moved for some, and they found themselves outside the magic ring. This shift is a rude awakening. The rose-colored glasses have been shattered, because you know what happens inside the ring.

I have spent time on both sides of the line, and it is a soul crushing life to lead. On the inside of the circle, there is a need to measure up and to fit into some fuzzy standard. Living on the outside of the unique ring, you are marginalized, and ideas dismissed. Either way, the organization pays a great cost to maintain the defective environment.

The circle continues to tighten, restricting further admittance, encouraging tunnel vision, and groupthink takes hold. Diversity and innovation wait outside ready to contribute. The ego has won. This is not the future that must be chosen.

Going Further: How do you fight the temptation to build closed circles? How have you experienced the circle of trust within organizations and what were the pros/cons of the practice? What is one step you can do today to break open circles that exclude others? How would your organization be different if the circles of trust were opened?